Letters To The Sea
by Ayame Jrock
Summary: Deadliest Catch. Jake Harris, and Josh struggle as they work on different boats. A storm comes in, and Jake Harris, and Jake Anderson discover something a few years older in their last pot. Little does Jake Harris know, it will change his life forever. As he finds himself searching for someone that doesn't sound true. Will Jake Harris be able to find who wrote the letter to the sea
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter One**_

_**Prologue**_

I let out a scream, as I ran down the grassy mountain of Nova Scotia. All morning there was storm warnings. There was a bad rain storm coming in, rather it had already arrived. I didn't mind though, it fit the way I felt perfectly. Clutching my notebook, it was the only thing that gave truth to my world. I didn't know what was true, and who I could trust anymore. I ran down the the edge of the cliff, and slowly, climbed my way down the steep rocking mountain, careful not to slip on a rock. I could no longer control my tears, as they fell freely, mixing with the rain that was now pouring down. My blue dress, and long sandy brown hair were now soaking wet, and clinging tightly to by slim body. In my pocket, I carried an empty glass bottle, and a cork. My mother told me how she met dad, was she wrote a love poem, and stuffed it in a bottle with a cork in the top, and sent it out into the ocean. I always loved how she would tell it, but now I wasn't sure of anything. I ripped out the letter I wrote to anyone who wanted to listen, and stuffed it into the bottle, stuffed the cork in, and threw it into the Atlantic Ocean. "Find someone who will listen. Someone who will care!" I screamed as loud as I could. My chest heeved, as I continued to cry, and scream until I blacked out.

_**Three Years Later**_

_**Flashback**_

_"Jake, get your ass up here!" I heard my pops yell into the radio. I rolled my eyes, and put out my cigarette, before heading up to the wheelhouse. I knew what was coming, and honestly, I could careless if I were about to get yelled at or not. I walked through the door, not bothering to take down my hood from my rainsuit. "Jacob, what is going on with you? You cant just not work, all the guys need you, now wake your ass up, and get out there, and start helping the guys pull these damn pots!" _

_"Sorry." I told my dad. No matter how hard I tried to be, I knew that once he raised his voice, or told me to do something I did it. I loved my pops, and I wanted to make him proud. The thing was, being the youngest son of a crab boat captain carried a lot of responsibility. It seemed my dad looked more to me to carry on his legacy then my oldest brother, Josh. I couldn't understand why. Josh was older, taller, and much stronger then me. I was the youngest one of the boat, the skinniest, and I surely didn't have the muscles that the rets of the guys had. Dont get me wrong, I could damn well pull my own share around here. Half of the time I was telling Josh what to do. _

_"Twenty more pots, then you all can rest." Phil Harris spoke out into the radio. It was the middle of Opillo season, and it was freezing out. The guys were in the middle of a crab count when I arrived on deck. "Good morning sunshine!" I heard my brother snear. I didn't bother looking at him, and just flipped him off._

_"Go get some bait, and so we can set the pot back." Josh said._

_"Why me? Your the greenhorn. You do it." Jake spat back._

_"I'm the greenhorn, yet your the one that cant ..." Before Josh could finish a wave, came up and sent the crew to the floor. Phil returned to the mike, giggling, "That was a big one. Everyone alright?" _

**_End of Flashback_**

"Alright guys, a new storm report came in. We need to hurry with the last 10 pots, and we are going to go just have to ride this one out."

Jake stared into the sea, watching for the next bouy. He couldn't help the memoriest that floated back to him. The last time he was in a storm this serious, was when his father was still alive. Jake Anderson looked over to his friend, and crew mate, he knew the look on his face all to well. "Hey Harris, its only ten more pots. Can you handle it?"

"Yeah dude, of course." Jake Harris refused to make eye contact with Jake Anderson. He knew all to well if he did he would start to cry. He only let himself cry infront of his brother, and right now, he wanted his brother. He wasn't strong enough to deal with his emotions. He couldn't handle it. He knew he was a failure in his pops eyes, and probably in his brothers too. But he couldnt help the fact that he missed his brother. He would have given anything to stay on the CM, but the lousey fishing last season forced them to go their own ways.

"Harris, can you come to the wheelhouse." Came Captain Sig's voice over the radio. Jake was somewhat relieved that he could go inside, but on the other hand, he didn't want to face Sig. Slowly he made his way inside, hoping the captain wouldn't ask any questions. He knew his eyes were swollen and red. Easy excues was to just say he was tired. It was their third day awake without rest. Jake was exhausted, hungry, and sore, not to mention he was emotionally drained. "Whats up Captain?" Jake said, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible.

"Its your brother." Sig said, handing Jake the phone.

"Hey bro!" Jake said with a smile on his face. He was happy, and thankful to be able to hear his brothers voice.

"Hey Jake. Just wanted to say be safe, and do a good job."

"Thanks bro. Were going to head for cover, and just sit out the storm. We got ten pots left before we make it in."

"Thats a close call, the storm is moving pretty damn fast. Its supposed to be the worst one this season. Were already sitting." Josh informed his little brother. Jake could tell, because of all the explosion in the backround. He couldn't help but laugh, knowing how the Hillstrand brothers loved their explosives, and loved to set them off at any chance they got. "Sounds like a party!" Jake said. "You know it! Alright bro be safe. Love you!"

"Love you too, miss you Josh."

"I miss you too Jake."

"Hey Sig, can we have our crew member back so we can get these pots, or what?" Edgar called out, clearly getting annoyed. He, and Sig loved Jake, and Josh as if they were their own sons. Phil was their bestfriend, and all of the Captains made a promise to him to watch over the boys when he passed. Sig, and Edgar each had a different way of doing things. Sig didn't want to be hard on Jake, therefore let him slide by without much disapline. Edgar however drew a fine line between work and personal life. Right now Edgar needed Jake to work, and he didn't care if he sounded mean about it, things had to get done.

"Yeah, hes coming down right now."

It wasn't long before they were on their last pot. As Jake Anderson, and Jake Harris started sorting through the crab, and discarding the ones that they couldn't use, the boys noticed something weird in the stack of crabs. Something that shouldn't have been there.

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**Hey guys, its been a while since I have written anything. So, I've decided to write something COMPLETELY different from anything I've ever written. I'm enjoying this one a lot! I hope you enjoy, and comment for the next chapter. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2 Brownie Points

_**Chapter Two**_

_**Brownie Points**_

This Opie season was proving to be the hardest yet. Josh Harris however saw it as an oppertunity to learn to work harder. Being on a boat was the only thing he knew. He tried different things when he was a teenager, summer jobs while out of school, nothing lasted, nor did he like it. Fishing was the only thing that seemed to stick with him. It was in his blood, just like it was in his brothers, and his fathers, and his grandfathers. Josh couldn't help but feel somewhat depressed. He missed his dad, and his brother. He missed working on the Cornelia Marie. Josh made a promise to his brother, that they would work as hard as they could, and save their money to buy the Cornelia Marie, so they could carry on their fathers legacy. Jake agreed, but only one of the brothers was keeping their promise. Josh had heard that Jake wasn't doing good, hense the call he made to his brother. Josh knew the Hillstrand brothers, and Sig kept in contact. They were all good friends, as well as fishing buddies. Johnathan had told Josh about what he heard was going on with Jake on the Northwestern, and agreed to let him call his brother. Josh knew by the sound of his brothers voice, he too was depressed, much more then himself. Josh knew he had to push himself to work harder. Being the oldest brother, his instinct kicked in, wanting to do what he could for Jake. He knew he would only be able to help so much. It was up to Jake to do the rest.

It was somewhare around four in the morning by the time the Northwestern took sheltor with the rest of the crab boats. Everyone took this time to relax, and get some sleep. However for Jake, no matter how tired he was, the only thing on his mind was seeing his brother. He went up to the wheelhouse where Sig, and Edgar had been chatting, both men stopped as Jake entered the room. "Dont you look like shit." Edgar said.

"Why dont you go take a rest, Jake." Sig offered. Jake smiled, and thanked the Hanson brothers, before he exited onto the deck.

"What is that kid thinking?" Sig said.

"He misses his brother." Jake Anderson said, making himself comfortable in the wheelhouse. Sig looked over to Jake A, "Thats my best guess."

"What the hell are you doing up here?" Edgar said a bit harsh.

"Looks like I'm sitting right now." Jake said, as he looked down at himself on the chair. He knew he could get away with what most of the guys couldn't. In reality Sig had a soft spot for Jake Anderson, and Jake knew it. Sig treated him as if he were his own son, allowing Jake Anderson to do more things on the boat then his own brother at times. Sig snorted at Jake, finding the two arguing to be amusing. Edgar shook his head before disappearing into the galley. Sig and Jake remained in the wheelhouse, silent before they heard Edgar's voice from below. "Who's on dish duty?" Jake hissed, and slid out of his chair. Sig shook his head in laughter, before he took disappeared below.

After the dishes were completely done, Jake decided to go and clean the captains courters. He took out the vaccum, and pluged it in, as Sig walked in with a camera. "Say hi Jake."

"Hi Jake!" Jake said, holding the vacuum.

"What are you running around for?" Sig asked.

"Just trying to keep myself busy."

"You mean your trying to earn some brownie points." Sig laughed.

"Is it working?" Jake said with a sly smirk.

"Little shit." Sig laughed, as he turned away. "This kid!"

Jake watched as sig left the room with the camera still recording. He smiled to himself, and continued to clean.

On deck, Jake Harris stood their, glancing up at the sky. He could make out every single star there was. And in that moment, he wondered if his dad was looking down at him. "Dad, I'm sorry!" Jake quietly. He didn't want anyone in the wheelhouse to hear him breaking down. Jake fought back his tears, then remembered what he had picked out of their last crab pot. He walked over to the sorting table, and found the glass bottle was still there. He picked it up, and went inside to his room. After he was locked inside, and struggled to pull the cork out, then retrieved a curled up piece of paper.

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_**Another chapter posted! And yes I just had to cut it off right there! Review for the next chapter! Wonder what the paper in the bottle said? Any guesses as to what it might be? **_


	3. Chapter 3 Downtime

_**Chapter Three**_

_**Downtime **_

_**Dear Sea,**_

_**To the one that finds this letter. I just needed someone to listen. I dont think I cant stand it much longer.**_

_**My parents both died in a car accident. I came to live with my aunt and uncle in Nova Scotia. I miss my life, the way it was. I have lost who I thought I was. All because I found out that my parents adopted me. My aunt, and Uncle thinks I am a burden to them. What am I supposed to do now? Is it too much to ask to be saved? Will you save me?**_

_**Love,**_

_**Berlynn Rayne**_

Jake felt something jolt inside of him. He couldn't understand what it was he was feeling, but he was sure it had to do with the letter. He felt like he knew this girl. Somehow he felt as though his father was trying to tell him something. Jake looked up to the picture he had pinned up above his bed. The picture was of him, and Josh, and their dad, holding a King Crab. Their dad was smiling, Jake knew that look on his dads face was a proud, and happy one. How he missed his laugh, and smile, even his voice. Jake was sure thats one of the reasons why he missed his brother so much. Josh sounded just like their father, and even looked like him. Jake sighed, and closed his eyes. There was going to be at lease twenty four hours of down time, perfect for Jake to get some sleep, and rest his exhausted body. On the other hand, he knew he wouldn't be making any money because of the storm, not to mention all the ice that was coming their way. Jake started to slowly fade into a light sleep.

* * *

_**On The Time Bandit**_

"Hey guys." Andy, and Johnathan said with a smile on their face. Everyone was sitting in the galley. The crew looked up at their captains, and knew the look on their face.

"What do you have planed out?" Scott asked, with the same smirk as his father.

"Lets start a war with the Northwestern." Andy said, as he adjusted his famous white cowboy hat. Josh looked at his captains with a smile on his face.

After several minutes of laughing, and plotting, Johnathan was in the wheel house, inching his way to the Northwestern. He knew that the crew was most likely asleep, as it was the middle of the night, and it was usually the only full nights sleep anyone could get.

"Ready guys?" Johnathan asked, as reached the Northwestern.

Everyone nodded, not wanting to wake anyone who may be sleeping, or draw attention from anyone who may still be awake. Andy, Johnathan, and Josh all climbed onto the Northwestern. Scott handed all three men a case of the famous Time Bandit Fireworks. After finding a proper position... on top of the wheelhouse, the boys lit up their fireworks all at once. Sure enough they could hear Sig on the radio, "What is that? What is that? Where is everyone?" Sig hollard, only making it harder for the Time Bandit crew to control their fits of laughter. Sig went out on deck also laughing, after he realized it was his friends from the Time Bandit. The rest of the crew slowly came out on deck, all except one.

Josh, and Jake Anderson made their way below deck of the Northwestern. Since Jake Harris refused to gather on deck with the rest of the crew, his older brother, and best friend decided to "stink" him out of his room. Jake A opened the door just wide enough for Josh to throw several stink bombs inside. Jake quickly closed the door, and waited. Several seconds later, they could hear Jake H coughing, "What the fuck?!" Jake said, as he tried to open his door, but Jake Anderson locked him in. Jake H fumbled with the lock, meanwhile Jake A, and Josh ran up to the deck laughing, with Jake hot on their feet.

"You assholes!" Jake yelled, but also with a smile on his face. It wasn't until he looked up that he noticed his brother. "Josh!"

"Hey brother! I swear they..." But before Josh could finish explaining, he was tackled to the ground by his little brother. Josh smiled, wrapping his arms around his brother. "I missed you." Jake said.

"I missed you to buddy." Josh answered back, before getting back on his feet. Jake looked over to Captain Andy, an Captain Johnathan, before embracing them in a hug.

"You doing ok on this boat?" Johnathan asked.

"Yeah, its not as easy as it was before." Jake said truthfully.

"Your a tuff kid, you can make it." Johnathan said.

Andy and Johnathan were the closest to Phil. Johnathan promised Phil before he died, that he would take care of the boys. Johnathan knew it was going to be harder on Jake, then it was on Josh. Josh knew how to deal with his feelings, unlike his little brother, who kept everything bottled up inside him.

Josh knew his little was just like a Time Bandit Firework, just waiting to explode, and when he did, it would deffinately catch everybodies attention. Josh was just not sure when his brother would burst, the fuse was lit, and the sparks from the match were dangerously close to him. Josh took pitty on him, knowing that he couldn't be there for his little brother. In all honesty it hurt him even more having him away, being on seperate boats, their father gone, how could Jake keep all his feelings hidden so well?

"Thanks John." Jake said, as he stuffed his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. His hood seeming to cover not only his head, but it acted as a sheild to Jake. It was like a wall that surrounded him. It helped keep him from breaking down. His hands slowly clutching around the piece of paper, he hadn't remembered he put the mysterious letter in his pocket. Infact, he was unaware of keeping in on him at all times. It seemed to be the only thing that could keep his sanity in tact. The letter gave him meaning, and let him know he wasn't the only person that seemed to be hurting in the world.

"Well boys we better take cover, the rain in heading in, and we can take all the rest we can while we are anchored up." Sig said, as he said his goodbyes, before retiring in for the night. Andy, and Johnathan took turns hugging the youngest Harris boy, exchanging encouraging words, before climbing back onto their boat. Jake, and Josh were the only two left on deck of the Northwestern, as a light drizzle of rain started above them.

"Well bro, its only a few more weeks. Well talk about whats next when the season is over." Josh said. Jake looked up into his brothers eyes. He couldn't believe how much of an adult Josh seemed to have grown into. It was like yesturday they were on the CM goofing off. Josh was always one to party, and joke around. Josh didn't like responsibility, nor did he want it, but after the passing of their father, its like it came so natural to him. Jake couldn't help but feel somewhat like a child, Josh now taking their fathers place.

"Sounds good." Jake said, before being pulled into a bear hug by his brother. Josh flipped off Jakes hood, bringing him into a headlock, as he ruffled the younger boy's hair. Jake was taken off guard, leaving him defenseless, "Josh!" Jake said giggling, remembering all the times they spent like this on the Cornelia Marie, and just for a moment, Jake closed his eyes without complaint, and pretended everything was normal again. Ending all too soon, "Not even gonna put up a fight this time Jakey?" Josh asked with a bit of sarcasm.

"Nah, I'll get you next time. Just wait, when you least expect it." Jake said, acting as normal as he could. Josh eyed him suspicously, before laughing it off, "Whatever bro, I'm ready for anything!" With one last hug, the Harris brothers parted ways, settling down for the night.

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_**Alright dearies, here is another chapter for you to enjoy! The next chapter will be put up as soon as I have your reviews! I plan to have everything pick up by chapter five. Also I put up a poll just for some fun, go take a look at it, and put in your vote! :)**_


	4. Chapter 4 Too Tired To Work

**_ ~ Thank you! I'm really glad your enjoying it! I had a lot of fun writing in the jokes. I love the Hillstrand brother, they are so down to earth, and goofy!_**

**_ IrishCaptain ~ I know, it is defiantly a hard thing to deal with, especially when you lose someone who is still young. As for the girl, I feel bad for writing her life like I did, haha._**

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**_Chapter four_**

**_Too Tired to Work_**

Jake lay in his bunk, his eyes closed tight as if he were asleep, as he clutched the letter close to his chest. He wondered about the girl that wrote the letter, she couldn't have been that desperate, right? Over and over again, the same line came into Jakes restless mind, _**I am a burden to them. What am I supposed to do now? Is it too much to ask to be saved? Will you save me? **_Jake understood the girl too well. He knew how she felt, because at one point, Jake felt like a burden to his father, and brother, and to his crew. He was a let down in his fathers eyes. Being caught doing drugs, how selfish could he be? He was clean now, and struggling to keep it that way. The letter he clung to was like a drug to him, keeping him grounded, and focused. He knew as soon as the boat docked, and the season ended, he was going to set out to find this mysterious girl, Berlin Rayne, the girl that needed to be saved!

"Ok boys, lets go fishing!" Sig said on the loud hailer. The crew was awake, and ready to go, after two days of rest. The whole crew was anxious to get back to fishing on the Bering Sea. They had a time limit to meet their quota, and so far the ice was not on their side. All in all, the crew was more then happy to get back to fishing, all except for Jake Harris.

Sig lined the boat up readying the crew for their first twenty pot string. The fishing had been good in this spot before the storm, and now Sig was about to test the waters.

Thirty minutes into their twenty pot string, Edgar looks around at his crew, "Anyone seen Jake H?" He asked.

"Nope, haven't seen him all day." Jake Anderson said. Edgar was now starting to get annoyed with the Harris boy. Edgar called up to the wheelhouse, "We got a missing kid. He's a little shorter then the rest of us, brown hair, a little on the skinny side. Have you seen him?"

Sig laughed in response, "No I haven't, but I'll keep my eye out for him."

Jake Anderson decided to go search for the missing Jake. Jake Anderson wasn't sure what was going on with his friend. Anderson found Jake sleeping in his room, "Dude!" Jake Anderson yelled, which had little to no effect on the sleeping body. Jake A yanked the blankets off of Jake Harris, before shaking him awake.

"Dude, we just set a twenty pot string without you. Whats going on?" Jake Anderson asked. He was concerned for the younger Jake. They saw each other brother, Jake Anderson being around the same age as Josh, gave Jake Harris an older brother figure to look up to on the new boat.

"I'm just too tired to work." Jake Harris said.

"Are you using again?" Jake Anderson asked in a serious tone. This caused Jake Harris to fully wake up, "No man. I'm just tired. This are just so different."

"I know how you feel, but c'mon, its not too much longer before the season ends. I'm here for you too. You need to try and step it up a bit." Jake Harris walked past his friend, and up to the wheelhouse. Sig looked over his shoulder, not impressed with Jake H, but being who Sig was, didn't let his disappointment get in the way. All the younger deck hands were like children to Sig, especially Jake Anderson. Jake Harris, well he had a lot to learn in life, and Sig wanted to help him as much as he possibly could. He allowed Jake to do pretty much whatever he wanted. Edgar didn't agree with how Sig treated Jake Harris. Edgar thought a firm hand was better for the kid, where as Sig thought Jake was homesick, grieving for his dad, and missing his brother, Sig thought it would be best to let him figure it out for himself. Either way, Jake seemed to lose.

"Hey Sig. Pretty nice day out." Jake said.

"Yeah, yeah it is. Whats up?" Sig asked, knowing Jake was hinting at something.

"You think maybe I can take the wheel for the next string?" Jake asked.

"Ugh..." Sig paused, "Sure, why not?! For now, go down, and see what the crew needs help with, I'll call you back up here when were ready."

Jake smiled, and left the wheelhouse.

On deck things we going pretty smooth, Jake thought, until it was time to take a take a short break. The crew was done with their first string, and Sig had heard there was some good fishing about two hours away. Sig told the crew to go in and rest, and called Jake up to the wheelhouse.

"Ok, you know the different controls, its pretty much go straight from here." Sig told Jake.

Jake knew the controls, it wasn't his first time steering the boat. Jake found it refreshing to be in the captains chair, it gave him hope, that one day he could live up to his fathers expectations. Jake let his mind wander with waves. Every memory seemed like a slap in the face to him, much like the waves on the Bering Sea hitting the boat as they went forth.

"You gonna run this boat one day Jacob?" Phil asked his son, with a smile on his face.

"You know it! Josh is going to be my cook." Jake laughed.

"No, I'm going to run the boat, and Jake is going to be my cook. He's the best cook on the boat!" Josh informed.

"These boys! You can both run the boat." Phil stated matter of fact.

Jake Harris smiled at the memory, but was pulled from his thoughts, as Jake Anderson made his way into the wheelhouse. Sig looked over to Jake A. Jake looked at Jake Harris. Anderson glared daggers at Jake, then at Sig. Jake Harris let the warning look go over his head, "Whats up dude?" Harris asked the older Jake with a smile on his face, all to proud of himself in the moment. Jake Anderson shook his head, then left the room. Sig turned his head, and looked out the window, watching the sea pass by.

* * *

**_Later In The Galley_**

Jake Harris couldn't stop boasting about Sig allowing him to take over, which infuriated Jake A to no extent. Jake Anderson accepted the Harris boys as his friends, and brothers. Though all the boats were in competition with each other, they were still extended family. On the boat itself, they were a family. Sig acted like a motherly father, where Edgar was the strict fatherly figure. Jake Anderson was a cocky punk when he first got on board of the Northwestern, but in time he learned to take what the Hanson brothers had to offer. He learned everything he could. Where everyone was resting, Jake Anderson found work to do. Always sure to keep himself as busy as he could, and thats how he learned, and was more accepted everyday with the Hanson brothers, and the crew. Anderson worked as hard as he could to be where, and who he was today. Jake Harris, however, seemed to have a handout where ever he went. Sure he was the baby out of the whole group, but even so. Josh worked his butt off, and was eager to learn what he could, but Jake didn't seem to care. Jake Anderson couldn't help but feel jealousy towards the younger man. Jealousy, and anger. Jake Anderson had lost his father, and his sister, there was no time for grieving, Jake Anderson had to keep going. What made Jake Anderson even more sick to his stomach, was that Edgar hadn't even said anything. Jake Anderson had more then what he could take, "You know what, just shut up. No one cares! You come on this boat, and think you have a free pass, because your Phil Harris youngest son, and you take advantage of everyone on this boat. I worked so hard to be where I am today, and your throwing everything that is being handed to you away. Stop wallowing in your self pity, and do something that will help all of us. Its not just about you. Your brother is doing just fine, I did just fine, its time for you to grow the fuck up." Jake Anderson yelled until he was completely out of breath. The air seemed to stiffen, and no one dared to say anything. Jake Harris just sat with a smug smirk on his face, "You think all I care about is myself. You have no idea what I'm going through. Josh didn't know either. Your not my brother, stop acting like you care." Jake Harris spat, before he got up, making his way to his room once again.

Jake Anderson following him, not yet done with his lecture, "Your so fucking blind Jake, you think no one cares about you, but your so wrong. Everyone cares so much about you. I know what you went through, I know how difficult it must be for you to not touch the drugs. I've been there. I did it, I came over it. I know! As for the crew, why do you think you get away with whatever you want to do? Because everyone loves you, and is willing to let the crew suffer, and pick up your slack. Maybe if you opened up your eyes, and stopped walking around is such a daze you would see that Jake." Jake Anderson continued long after Jake Harris locked himself in his room. Jake Harris couldn't face his friend any longer, and didn't want to hear the words he spoke, knowing all to well they were true.

"Give it a rest Jake, hes not going to change, and you cant force him. He has to do this for himself. He couldn't change for his dad, or his brother. He wont change for you either." Edgar said trying to calm Jake Anderson. He knew Edgars words were true, what hurt him the most, was that he had lost more then Jake Harris. His father was murdered, and before that, his sister, and best friend was taken from him. Then when Phil died only weeks after his father went missing, it was like another blow to Jake Anderson. Not only had he lost his father, but he also lost another father figure. Still, Jake Anderson had to keep on going. There was no time for feeling sorry, or sulking, or crying. However, the Harris brothers were allowed all the time in the world for crying, and self pity. Jake Harris seemed to be throwing himself an ongoing pity party, and Jake Anderson had more then enough.

Jake Harris lay on his bed, staring at the framed photo of his father. Jake clutched the letter once more to his chest. Wishing somehow he could find the girl that wrote the letter. He knew Jake Anderson was only trying to help him, but what pissed the younger man off the most was, everyone thought he was back on drugs. In all honesty, he hadn't even thought about drugs. In fact, the truth was he was just exhausted. He felt like he had a point to make, and high standards that needed to be reached, and when he got word of how well his brother was doing, that just brought Jake down even more. He was homesick, and indeed missed his dad, and his brother. What also hurt, was the fact that Josh could do so well on a different boat, away from his little brother. Jake was in pain, and didn't know how to express those feelings. On top of that, he was back to being a greenhorn. It all just made him miserable, and depressed. He wasn't eating right, and was sleeping as often as he could, it was all just a way for him to mask his pain. No one understood his true feelings. Jake wanted so badly to live up to his fathers expectations. Jake was trying to deal with so much guilt. He felt guilty for stealing his dads meds, he felt guilty for fighting with him right before he died. Guilty because the last time they spoke Phil told him he didn't want him in his life any longer. Jake remembered walking into the hospital, and seeing his father in the bed, so weak._ Jake whispered in his fathers ear, "I'm sorry pops, I'm not the son you thought I would be."_

_"Just get clean Jacob. I want to see you clean. Your gonna run the boat for me. You have too."_

_"I made arrangements to go to a hospital. I leave tonight."_

_"Good, take care of yourself, and get clean, so you dont end up like me."_

_Jake gave his father a hug, and a kiss before he walked out of the hospital._

Jake now how tears flowing freely down his face. He felt like a failure to his father. He had let everyone he cared about down, including his father. He couldn't even afford to keep the CM going. And now he was back in a starting position on a different boat. And his brother was doing better then him, a deckhand on the Time Bandit, on of the guys, and doing just fine without him. Thats what hurt Jake. No one tried to take the time to find out what was bugging him, everyone just assumed it was because of the drugs. He had thought a lot in the few months being on the Northwestern, for his future. Fact was, he was young, and didn't finish highschool. He had no experience doing anything else, his whole life was fishing. Thats what Jake knew, thats what he lived for. Fishing was in his blood. And he was thinking about leaving it all behind, because no body seemed to need him. Jake turned over on his side, the crying, and his racing thoughts taking a toll on his mental state. His eyes drifted shut, as he instantly fell asleep.

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**_Another done, and posted! I'm also writing another Jake Harris/OC fic, So keep your eyes open for that. I'm going to try to have the first chapter posted in a day or so. the title is called _****_Whatever It Takes _****_I am a HUGE K drama fan, and the fic is based on the Korean Drama Coffee Prince. Its a really good Drama, and if anyone has time, you should check it out! Well I think thats it for now, I'm super sleepy... I think HAHA! Anyways comment, let me know your thoughts. Check out Coffee Prince, and GO VOTE on my poll, and wait for the new fic, and a new chapter! :)_**


	5. Chapter 5 Shower Time

**_Chapter Five_**

**_Shower time_**

The crew of the Northwestern cheered, as they sorted their last few crabs of the Opie season. It was finally over, and the crew couldn't be happier. Sig had announced they were heading into Dutch Harbor, and the season was officially over. The exhausted crew seemed to gain new life, as they finished sorting, and stack the crabs, and the pots. After forty five minutes on deck, everyone headed inside, for a celebration meal. Jake Harris agreed to cook, wanting to make one last attempt at pleasing, and thanking his crew. Captain Sig called down from the wheelhouse, "Hey Anderson, come up here for a sec." Jake without question, ran up to the wheelhouse, "Whats up Captain?" Jake asked overly enthusiastic.

Sig didn't say a word, instead he stood up, and motioned for Jake to take his seat in the captain's chair. "Take the boat in." Sig smiled. Last year Jake asked to take the boat in, and so far every year since, Sig had made a new tradition, to have Jake Anderson take the boat into the dock. It was the only way he was going to learn.

"What? Your not going to breathe down my neck like you did last time?" Jake question with a hint of laughter in his voice.

"No, this is all you this time. I've told you the mistakes you made before, now well see if any of it actually stuck with you." Sig said, as he took a seat by the window. The seat he often took while he allowed his brother some wheel time.

Jake nervously bit down on his lip, chew it a bit, while focusing on the controls. He was doing a good job, or at least he thought so.

"You know I'm real proud of you kid." Sig said. "You've grown up so much, and one day maybe you can have this, if you want it?" Sig asked.

"What? You mean the boat?" Jake asked, sounding a bit confused, and taken back.

"Well yeah. I don't have any other boat sitting around anywhere, do I?"

"No, but what about Edgar?" Jake asked, knowing that Edgar should be next inline to take over the boat.

"Edgar comes and goes like the wind. I need someone that I know will be there. I need someone I can trust to make good decisions. I'm not saying I don't trust Edgar, but he's, well, he's like the wind, like I said." Sig stated.

"I know what you mean. Thanks! You don't know what that means to me. To hear you say those words." For a moment Jake thought he might cry, but he choked it back.

"Whats going on up here?" Edgar asked, making his way up to Jake.

"I'm taking the boat in." Jake said overly proud of himself.

"Dont sink the boat Jake." Edgar teased.

"Whatever. I bet I can get us to the dock better then you." Jake said laughing.

"Ouch!" Sig laughed.

"Well see next time then." Edgar said.

About two hours later, Jake had successfully pulled the Northwestern into Dutch Harbor. It wasn't long before the crew was filling up the brailer with crab. Load after load, hour after hour. Finally they were finished, and the exhausted crew couldn't be happier. As midday neared, the crew finished packing their stuff, and had prepared the boat for the next season. Family gathered at the dock, all smiles, as the men from the Northwestern walked off the boat, ending the Opilio season, and entered the arms of their loved ones. Most of the wives, and girlfriends nestled their head in their man's neck, crying. Jake Harris looked around for his older brother, he took note of the Time Bandit tied up to the dock, and off into the distance, he could see his brother. Jake made his way through the crowd of families, and over to his brother. Throwing his arms around his brother, they were once again reunited, safe and sound. "Tuff season, huh?" Josh asked, as he welcomed his brothers hug,

"Yeah. I'm glad its over."

"Me to. I already got our plane tickets." Josh informed.

"Oh, good." Jake said, not sounding as thrilled as Josh thought he would.

"You ok, bro?"

"Fine. Lets go."

The Harris brothers walked back to their hotel room, eager to rest before their trip back home. Josh talked the whole walk to the hotel. That was just like him though. Jake was more quiet, he listened to what people said, and Josh talked. Jake kept quiet about the letter he found, he didn't want to tell his brother about the girl that he had become almost obsessed with. Nor was he going to tell his brother that he planned to go to Nova Scotia to find the girl. In his mind he whispered her name, already falling in love with the unique name she was given, _Berlynn Rayne, _he went over her name time and time again, never once did it get old. To him it was foreign, and mysterious. He thought it funny how he seemed to think about her nonstop, he hadn't even met her. She sounded young from the letter she wrote, but who knows how old she could be by now. The water had aged the bottle severely. No one could tell how long the bottle had been floating around. Jake didn't care, he felt in his gut he had to find her. He knew the letter was ment to reach his hands. She needed him, and he needed her. For the first time, he hadn't cared about what the women looked like, or her age, or sex. For the first time in his life, he felt as though a women could be the answers he needed, his other half that had been missing. Josh had his girl back home, Jake had his girl. And everyone else had their women, and families. Jake was really the only one that was left with no one. Jake was unaware of walking into the hotel, let alone in the hotel room. He watched as his brother jumped into the bed closest to the window. There was another bed on the side of that one. Jake looked over the room, it wasn't any different from any other room they had been in. It was nothing fancy, in fact it looked pretty much like any other rundown cheap motel room, but it was the only one in Dutch, and it was going to have to do until they got home tomorrow.

"I'm gonna go shower."

"Good, you smell like crab." Josh teased.

Jake rolled his eyes, "Well wouldn't you know, I just came off a crab boat! Oh and I haven't had a shower in three months. Go figure!"

"Dude that's just gross, I showered twice yesterday, and this morning!"

"Mr. Clean!" Jake teased. Josh laughed, and watched his brother empty his pockets. Josh took note of a folded piece of paper his brother pulled out of his pocket, taking careful measures not to tear it. He watched as Jake placed it neatly on the bedside. Josh eyed his younger brother suspiciously. Jake didn't pay much attention, and turned to leave for the shower.

Josh heard the water click on, and in that moment, he couldn't help himself. What was on that piece of paper that Jake had to treat it so fragile. Josh had an idea, one it was either a girls number, or two it had to do with drugs. Josh didn't want to believe that his brother would go back to that, but he had tried once before to get clean, and it didn't work out. Josh needed to know so he could try to step in, and help his brother. Josh went over, glancing at the bathroom door, When he thought it was safe, he picked up the paper, and unfolded it. He read it once, then twice. Josh couldnt' believe it. Who was this girl? What was Jake doing with this letter? How did he get it? And did he plan on tell him about it at all? Josh seemed a little let down, but put the paper back where he got it, before heading over to the bed, and flicking through the television channels.

* * *

I walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I didn't bother to lock it, I knew Josh wouldn't come in. I felt the steam from the shower building up in the small bathroom, and I welcomed it. It had been months since I had showered. I got out the razor, and quickly shaved, already I was feeling refreshed. I couldn't wait to get into the shower, and let the months of fishing wash down the drain. I stepped into the hot water, my muscles immediately relaxed. I let the water fall over my face, it felt so much better then the ice cold water hitting me on the boat. Slowly I turned around so the water covered my back, and hair. The heat felt so comforting on my aching back. I felt old, and worn out due to all the years at sea. I couldnt imagine what the older guys felt like, if I felt like this. I didn't want to know. My mind raced in thoughts. I couldn't help but think about Berlynn. I wondered what she would be like, the color of her hair, her scent, what was life like for her. And most of all, would she remember the letter she wrote, and would she want to talk to me. I worried about that the most. What if I went out of my way to find her, and found out she didn't exist. Could it have been just some sort of cruel joke? Seemed all too soon, the water began getting cold. I let out a shiver, before switching the tap off, and wrapping the towel around my waist. I walked out of the bathroom. The steam from the shower following me out. I walked over to the bed, and slipped under the covers, before taking off the damp towel, and tossing it to the floor. I turned to face my brother, and that's when my face fell.

"When were you going to tell me about that letter?" Josh asked, and pointed to the letter.

"You went through my things?" Jake asked, sounding upset.

"Yes I did. I needed to know what ..." Josh was cut off by his brother, who was now sitting up in the bed.

"You couldn't ask me? You had to go behind my back and snoop? Thats fucked up man. What did you think? I had drugs? Did you find what you were looking for Josh?"

"Jake, I didn't mean..."

"No Josh. I got clean. I'm clean. I haven't touched drugs, I haven't even thought about it. Everyone automatically assumes that I am doing drugs. Is it to hard to think, or see me clean?" Jake was now fighting a mix of tears, and rage. He was hurt his brother didn't trust him, upset, and angry that he snooped through his things, as if he were a child. "Your not dad Josh, you dont have to treat me like a kid. Your my brother, and if you want to know something, you need to ask me about it instead of assume."

"Your right, I'm sorry bro. Now are you going to tell me about the letter?" Josh asked.

Jake ignored him, and layed down, turning around to face the opposite side of the room. He didn't want to face his brother. He didn't want to tell his brother that he was going to leave as soon as they landed in Washington. Josh would be heartbroken. He had to just keep that to himself.

"Jake, and I found it. It was in a bottle, and came up in one of the pots."

"She sounds beautiful." Josh said honestly, "You weren't thinking about finding her were you?" Josh knew his brother all to well. He knew that Jake always had crazy live in the moment ideas. Most of the time when Jake got a crazy idea, Josh was the one to come rescue him. He never thought ahead of what the outcome may be. But Josh knew that had come with the life of a fishermen. That was just his personality.

"What if I did? You gonna tell me no, or ground me?" Jake asked, now purposely sounding like a child that dared to be disciplined.

"Jake... what you do in your time is none of my business."

"Then stop acting like it is. Stop acting like your dad! I cant take it anymore. You've changed so much since the old man died, I hate it. I dont even know who you are anymore. I stopped talking to you, and telling you things, because you take everything so seriously. Can I just have one person I can confined in?"

Jake's outburst left the older Harris a bit shocked. Josh had always just wanted what was best for his little brother. Someone had to be there as a fatherly figure if dad wasn't around anymore. Josh knew he could handle himself, but Jake had so many walls built up. He had barricaded himself in the drugs, and someone needed to break those walls down. Even now, he's clean, but he is still hiding behind the walls he built up around him. And for what? The whole situation frustrated Josh to no end. Josh couldn't understand what his brother was going through, mostly because Jake wouldn't let him in.

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**_Mmmmm Jake Harris in the shower. You dont know how hard it was to keep it clean! Anyways... I just want to say thank you to everyone who is following this story, and is reviewing it. I appreciate it so much! _**

**_Did anyone check out Coffee Prince? I'm going to post the first chapter of the new story soon. Check out the show. You can watch it for free here _****_ coffee-prince_**


	6. Chapter 6 I'm Not Crazy

**_Chapter Six_**

**_I'm not crazy_**

Morning seem to have come agonizingly slow. It was about four in the morning, wide awake, Josh was sound asleep. I picked through my bag for my cellphone. I skimmed through the names and numbers in my contact list. Unsure of who I was searching for, I decided to be a bit evil, since Josh always slept with his phone under his pillow, so he could answer his girlfriends texts, or calls in the middle of the night. I clicked his name, and pushed text : _Lazy ass! Wake up!_ Then pushed send text. I looked over to my brother who was still sleeping, then I heard the phone go off. Josh felt around his face for the phone, which was incredibly funny, until he got the phone, and read the text. It was only a few moments later Josh flipped me off, and sent back a text, saying : _f u j!_ I put my phone down, and tossed, and turned for the next few hours, until I saw the sun come up. I decided I'd better get up, and pack. By the time I was done, it was almost time to head out, but someone was still asleep.

Jake walked over to his brother, and stifled a laugh, before jumping on the bed, then falling directly ontop of his sleeping brother. Josh let out a screech, and jolted up in bed, which made Jake roll off onto the floor. "Thats messed up Jake."

"Well, I had to wake you up, or just leave you in Alaska. Since our flight leaves in fourty minutes."

"Fourty minutes?!" Josh said, as he jumped out of bed, and hustled over to the bathroom. Jake couldn't help but laugh, as he heard his brother turn on the shower. Jake got up, and went down stairs. Breakfast was being surved, and Jake wanted to get a bite to eat while he still could. In a few short minutes Jake returned to his room, with drinks, and breakfast for him, and his brother. Jake couldn't hear the shower running anymore, so he knew his brother was probably getting dressed. It was only about ten minutes later that Josh walked out of the bathroom, dressed, and hair done. Josh looked over at his brother who was sitting on his bed, looking over the letter. Josh sat down, and picked up his juice, and eyed his brother suspiciously. "Girl of your dreams, Jake?" Josh laughed, as he quickly ate his breakfast.

However, Jake didn't think the remark was funny. Jake hadn't ever felt this way. He couldn't say he was in love, because all he had was a piece of paper, god only knows how old. What if it was older then him? What was he to do then? Jake had so many questions to ask, and the only answer he had, was Nova Scotia. He had to go there. "Jealous?"

Josh put his arms up in defense, as he finished chewing his food, "Hey man, I've got a girl at home."

"Whatever dude, lets go before we miss the plane."

The boys made it to the airport, and boarded their flight in the nick of time. They took their seats in first class, and waited for take off.

Skipping over the long dull flight, and onto the landing. :)

The Harris boys couldn't be happier that they landed. The boys found themselves always restless on the plane. They were so used to running around, and doing things, that they couldn't sit still for very long. As soon as the flight attendant started letting passengers out, the boys bolted for the exit. Bags in hand, they skimmed the crowed of people that gathered to meet up with their loved ones. Jake wasn't sure who he was looking for, maybe his father, perhaps. Josh however knew exactly who he was looking for. He called his girlfriend last night, and told her what time they would be landing. She promised she would be there to pick him, and Jake up. Josh smiled, as he caught a glimpse of his girlfriend. Ashley let out a small scream, as she felt tears roll down her cheeks. Josh walked up to her, as she jumped into his arms. Josh wrapped his arms around her waist lifting her up. They both shared a passionate kiss, before Ashley put her feet back on the ground. Jake stood back, letting his brother have a moment with Ashley.

Ashley was everything Josh wanted in a woman. She was tall, with long blonde hair. She was thin, and what most guys would call beautiful. However, Jake thought she looked fake. Her could tell her boobs were fake. She got lip injections, making her lips plump, and kissable. She wore tons of make up. Jake didn't care, though, he was happy for his brother.

"I will meet you two love birds in the front. I need to pee." Jake said, before turning and leaving Josh and Ashley. Course that was just a small lie. Jake made his way to the ticket booth, though the line was extremely long. Jake wasn't sure if he should wait, or leave. After trying to decide, the line seemed to be moving quickly, so Jake stayed in his spot. Within a few minutes, Jake was walking up to the booth.

"May I help you?" Came a high pitched voice. Jake tried to hide his need to laugh, seeing how femine the man behind the counter seemed to be.

"Yeah, when does the next plane leave for Nova Scotia?"

"Let me look that up for you, sir." The man said, as he typed in some information into the computer, and nodding, "Its due to take off in three hours. Looks like we have one ticket left. Would you like to purchase?"

"Yes, how much?"

"Twelve thousand." The man said, as he eyed the boy in front of him. "By the way, I need to see your ID." Jake hated booking flights. Thats why his brother did it for him. No one ever believed that he was old enough to travel without an adult with him. And by the way he dressed in his baggy clothing, he was often thought of as a delinquent. Jake pulled out his wallet, and flashed the man his ID. He put his information into the computer, then asked, "Are you paying with a credit card, sir?"

This was Jakes favorite question. He looked at almost everyone who was traveling, and buying tickets. Everyone put it on their card. "No. I have cash." Jake smiled, and pulled out a wad of five hundred dollar bills, as the travel agent sent him a questioning look. Jake handed him the correct amount of money, and soon enough, the man handed Jake his plane ticket. Jake ran to the front of the airport, where he found Josh, and Ashley waiting.

"Back so soon?" Josh asked. Jake just shook his head. He knew that when those two were together, all sense of time went out the door. In reality Jake had been gone almost an hour. Jake was extremely anxious to get home, so he could unpack, and pack again. He had no intentions of telling his brother what he planned on doing. It was a bitch getting out of the airport, and Jake couldn't help but keep looking at the time. It seemed to go by so fast, and he had so much to do.

An hour later Jake was dropped off at his house, he ran inside, and removed all his dirty clothes from the suitcase. He pulled out clean clothes from his closet, and threw everything into his bag. He had kept the letter in his pocket, double checking to make sure it was there. Jake headed back to the airport.

Jake knew he needed to tell Josh what was going on, though he knew it was a bad idea. Jake knew he had to do this. Jake quickly dialed his brothers number, and put the phone to his ear. He heard one ring after another, and finally it went to voice mail. Jake was relieved he didn't have to actually talk to his brother. He waited for the beep, "Hey Josh. I know your gonna get pissed if I dont tell you. I'm leaving. I'm on my way to the airport right now. Theres something I need to do." With that Jake hung up his phone.

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**_Another one written! Working on the next chapter now! Cant wait! Reviews please! Oh also, I have posted _****_Whatever It Takes _****_ its a Jake Harris/ OC fic. Let me know what you think, and if I should continue it or not! Thanks 3_**


	7. Chapter 7 Scarlett's Cafe

**_Chapter Seven_**

**_Scarlett's Cafe_**

I was so glad I made it to the airport, and got on the plane without my brother calling me. I was hoping I could just get away from him completely without him wondering where I ran off to. Guess my wishes weren't so lucky, as I formed my thoughts, my phone rang. I thought about not answering it, but I couldn't do that to Josh, "Hey, bro!"

"Dont hey me. Where are you going? Wait let me guess, your going to find the girl aren't you?"

"Sorry mom, can I have permission to go to a different country?" Jake's words were spilling with sarcasm.

"Jacob, You know what, whatever man. Do what you want. Dont let me know what your up to. I really dont care anymore." Josh hung up the phone. Jake rested his head on the seat, and sighed. He hated how his brother treated him. He couldn't understand this was something he _needed_. Jake turned his cellphone off, and stuffed it back in his pocket, before pulling out the letter one more time. I traced over the words lightly with my finger. I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was where I was supposed to be. I was doing what I was supposed to do. I felt content, like everything was playing out exactly how it should be played out. I folded the letter back, and listen to the flight attendant announce our departure. I closed my eyes and slept through the flight.

* * *

Some amount of time later, I gathered my bags, and made my way off the plane, and into the airport. It was small compared to the one back home, but slightly bigger then the one in Alaska. I walked outside, unsure of what to do next. I found myself staring at everyone that passed me by. I couldn't help but wonder if one of these women that I walked by could be the girl that wrote the letter. I sighed to myself, as I got into a cab. "Where too?" An older gruffy looking man asked from the drivers seat.

"Actually, do you know anyone by the name of Berlynn Rayne?"

"Cant say that I do. Come here looking for a girl?" The man's accent was thick, and hard to to understand.

"Yeah. I just dont know where to start."

"This is a small island. Not many people live here. I'm sure you'll find who your looking for in no time. I'll drop you off in town."

"Thanks." Jake said, sitting back, and looking around. Jake could see the ocean from where he was at, until they turned around, and headed for town. It was a very small town consisted of a full street filled with little shopping stores. Jake had to admit, it was extremely different from Washington, and Alaska. Though Alaska was small, this town was still very different. "Well here we are." The cab driver said. "Theres a motel, on the corner, just keep walking down."

"Thanks for your help." Jake said, and paid the driver, more then what was due. Jake spun in a circle, until he caught sight of _Scarlett's Cafe. _Jake was exhausted, and feeling low on energy. He welcomed the thought of some coffee. Jake walked into the shop, and looked around. It was a shabby place, but none the less the coffee smelled delicious! Jake ordered a coffee, and took a seat. It wasn't long before the waitress brought out the cup of coffee, "Well, you must be new in town." The middle aged lady asked. She was pretty, her name tag read Liz, she had long black hair, curled to perfection, her make up was perfect, and her eyes were an emerald green. Jake felt comfort in her voice. "Yes. I am."

"I'm nice to meet you." The waitress greeted, extending her hand.

"I'm Jake." He said taking her hand.

"So Jake. Can I get you anything else? We have some of the best pie around."

"Uhhh... no thanks. Actually, yeah sure."

"I'll bring you a piece right away." She smiled. Jake watched her leave. Then covered his face with his hands. He didn't want to sound crazy, but he knew he had to ask her. He just needed to figure out what to say. Liz returned quickly, as she said she would. "Do you need more coffee?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks."

"Alright, just let me know if you need anything." Liz turned to leave, but Jake stopped her.

"I'm looking for someone, and so far I haven't had any luck."

"Well. I get most of the town in here everyday, I'm sure I can be of some help to you. Whats the name of the person?"

I pulled out the letter from my pocket. I had high hopes that Liz would have the answer for me.

"Berlynn Rayne." I said searching Liz's eyes for an answer. Her mouth opened wide, as her eyes teared up. I knew that wasn't good.

"She was my niece."

* * *

**_So how is everyones tension? I know I'm a little evil for cutting it so short, but I love to torture my readers with cliffhangers lol. Review for the next chapter 3_**


	8. Chapter 8 She Jumped

**_Chapter Eight_**

**_She Jumped_**

"She was my niece."

"Was?"

"Listen, I wish I could help you further, but I really cant. I'm working now."

"Please. I just need to know." Jake pleaded with the girl.

Liz thought about it for a minute, then nodded.

"If you follow the dirt road, and go past the church. Theres a single house on the hill. I'm off tomorrow, is nine am to early for you?

"No, thats fine. I'll see you at nine then." Jake smiled, and watched Liz go back to work. Jake finished his pie, and coffee, and left a generous tip. When he left he followed the road, until there was no more. There was a grassy hill, and Jake decided to explore. I could smell the ocean air, I knew that smell anywhere. As I got closer to the top, I could ear birds chirping, and I could feel the ocean breeze. It made me think of the old man. Once I actually reached the top of the hill, I could see the ocean. The grass seemed to just cut off, and sand took over, along with large rocks. I climbed about half way down, and took a seat on a rock. I looked out into the ocean, and took out the letter once again. I couldn't help but think of Berlynn, and my dad. Then I started thinking about my life, and my brother. I thought about how the choices I made in my past affected the people around me. I couldn't help but think that maybe if I was clean, my dad would be alive. I know that by him smoking didn't help, but surely the stress of my drug use had to have something to do with it, right? I watched as the sky turned pink, and the sun faded behind me. I checked the time, and made my way back up the hill. Following Liz's directions, I walked up the dirt path, and past the church. It looked more like an old run down shack. In the distance I could see a lonely little house, lined with iron fencing. I walked up to the gate, and pushed it open. I felt nervous, but kept walking anyway. Once I reached the door, I put my hand up to knock, but the door flung open before I got the chance.

"Hello." Liz said.

"Hey." I said back, as I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Come in." Liz stepped to the side of the door, allowing me to enter. Looking around, the small house. There was a living room to my right, which held a white couch, with a rose pattern on it, and a small t.v. On the side of the livingroom was a dinning room, then to the left of that was the kitchen. The rooms were clean, and bare. I could tell the women couldn't afford much. She seemed simple enough, I left that as it was, and waited for her to tell me I could sit.

"Can I get you some tea, or coffee?"

"Why dont you let me make it for you. You've been working all day." Jake offered, and went into the kitchen. Liz smiled, and showed Jake where everything was. It didn't take long for Jake to make the coffee, and before they knew it, they were sitting down at the table, sipping their coffees.

"Do you have the letter?" Liz finally broke.

"Yeah, here you go." Jake pulled the letter from his pocket, and handed it to the woman.

"Mind if I read it?"

"Go ahead."

Carefully Liz unfolded the paper. Jake took note of her shaky hand, and knew this was a serious matter. Jake studied the womans face, as she read the letter. When she was done, she covered her face with her hands, and cried silently.

"I'm sorry." Liz said. "But this has just been really hard for me."

"Do mind me asking, what happened?"

"Berlynn was a wonderful little girl. She was smarter then most kids her age, and her parents were wonderful. Her mother was Lynn, and her father was Bert. They couldn't have any children, so they decided to adopt. They got Berlynn when she was a newborn. Since they couldn't have their own children, they combined their names, and thats how she got the name Berlynn. She never knew she was adopted, until she came to live with here. I had custody of her, after her parents died."

"How did they die?" Jake asked tenderly.

"In a car crash. The car was hit by a semi. They died instantly. Berlynn was at a sleepover at her friends house when it happened. They used to live in California. When I got the call, I was horrified. I was asked to come pick Berlynn up. When I did, she wouldn't even talk. It was a year before she started to open up to anyone. At the time I lived with my mother and father. I couldn't afford my own house. This was their house, but the passed away two years ago."

"What happened to Berlynn?"

"She was fourteen when she came to live with me. At the age of sixteen, she started having problems. She over heard my parents talking about her adoption, and how they disagreed with her being here. They saw her as a problem, because she wasn't blood related. Berlynn ran away that night. We found her shoes, and some torn clothes down by the ocean. The police said it looked like she jumped into the water. We searched the whole island, but we never found her. She had no money so she couldn't leave. A week later, the police called the search off, and told me that it looks like a suicide. She would have been twenty two next month." Liz now wept, unable to control it any longer. It had been so long since she let her emotion out. "Its been six years since then. She must have written that letter before she jumped."

Jake wasn't sure what to say. All he could do was try to let everything he just heard sink in.

"I'm sorry you made the trip for nothing. You came a long way didn't you?"

"Its ok, I'm sorry for your loss. I'll leave you alone." Jake said, as he stood up to leave.

"Dont be silly. I haven't had company in a while. You dont plan on staying at the hotel do you? You can stay here for free. I have a spare room."

"Thanks, if you dont mind?"

"Not at all. Follow me." Liz got up, and showed Jake the house. Jake followed her, and was lead into a bedroom, "You can stay as long as you'd like."

"I'll be in town for the rest of the week." Jake informed, thankful to have such a welcomed stay. Jake walked into the spare room Liz offered him. He knew immediately that it was Berlynn's room.

"Is this her room?" Jake asked.

"Mhm." Was all Liz could say. The room was simple. The walls were painted a light yellow. There was a desk by the window, with lots of old books. There was a dresser, and mirror that was littered in family pictures, and a single bed in the middle of the room. Jake went over to the pictures, "Is this her?" He ask, pointing to a picture of a girl with light brown hair. She was sitting in the water, probably in California, on a surfboard. Her hair was long, reaching down to her waist, her eyes were dark brown, but they were so big, and beautiful. Jake thought he could stare into them all day if he could. Her lips were full. She seemed so perfect.

"Yes. That was taken on before she lost her parents." Liz said, as she walked over to the mirror. "This picture here was the last one I took of her. On her sixteenth birthday." Jake looked at the picture, taking note of how pale she seemed to look, and how much thinner she had gotten. She was well toned in all the California pictures, but in this picture she was so much thinner. Her hair had gotten darker, most likely from lack of sun and water. She wore a pair of black tights, with a short long sleeve pink dress. She looked cute nonetheless. "It was three months later that we lost her."

"Sorry." Was all Jake could think of.

"Me too. Well, have a goodnight, make yourself at home. I have to work tomorrow, but I dont leave until eight am. You should come with, I'll make you breakfast, and get you some coffee."

"Thanks, I'll do that."

Liz smiled, and closed the door, leaving Jake to settle into the room. Jake sat down at the desk, and looked over the pictures once again. "You didn't die, did you?"

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**_ Thank You for everyone's reviews! I hope this chapter answers everyone's questions. Thought there is still so_****_ many questions to ask, and answer still! Did Jake really come all this way for nothing? The next chapter is going to be a killer *evil laugh* :0 Reviews!_**


	9. Chapter 9 Leaving Early

**_Chapter Nine_**

**_Leaving Early_**

In the morning I followed Liz down to the Cafe. We talked a bit, but once we got into town, it was quiet between the two of us. She went straight to the back of the cafe, and I ordered a coffee. I took a seat, and waited to be served. I thanked Liz, and sipped my coffee. Slowly, one person after another started coming in. My thoughts had been scattered since the night before. I couldn't sleep, and I was exhausted. Part of me wanted to go home, and see my brother. I felt bad for Liz, she was just trying to help Berlynn. I realized that's all my brother was trying to do for me. He wanted to help, but I was pushing him away. It wasn't his fault that I kept my walls up around me. I finished my coffee, and quietly left. I walked down, and decided I had time to waist, so I walked to the airport. It was a good thirty minute walk to the other side of the island. I wasn't in any hurry. I walked into the airport, and slowly approached the booth. There was no line, and I felt lucky.

"I was wondering when the next flight out to Seattle was?"

"Tomorrow, at two pm."

"I have a ticket to return, but it isn't until the end of the week, and I was wondering if I could change it."

The woman didn't seem to mind, she put some information into the computer, and printed up the new ticket, and gave it to me. She smiled at me before I turned to leave.

* * *

"Ok, tilt your chin up to look at him. Perfect!" I said, as I snapped the last picture of my current photo shoot. I had worked so hard to get my career going, and it seems all my hard work was paying off. I was in Hollywood, doing photography for famous actors, and actresses. I loved what I did, though the new type of shoots I had been doing was wearing me out. The Hollywood scene was hard to impress. I bit down on my lip stud, and twirled it around in my lip. I watched as the couple left my studio. This time it was no one famous, but a couple on their honeymoon, who had booked a shoot several months in advance. I was more than happy to do this for them. I worked from home, where most photographers worked for someone. I represented myself. I would get a lot of calls, and emails requesting my skills. I had lots of job offers from many companies, and actors/ actresses, all of which I turned down. I was happy to make my own schedule, and work for myself. However, I told them that if they wanted, or needed a photographer I would do what they needed. I told the couple that I would call, and let them know when they could pick up their pictures, they thanked me, and paid me what was due.

I walked over to my desk, and flipped through my calendar. I had a full week off to relax after tonight. I was overjoyed since I had schedualld shoots for almost two weeks straight. I had one more shoot to do tonight, for a local magazine. They wanted me to shoot the cover. I was ecstatic, course I had to say yes. Well, maybe my week wasn't going to last long, my phone started to ring with an unknown area code, and number. I shrugged my shoulders, and picked it up anyway. "Amy's Photography."

"Hello, I'm David, calling from the Discovery Channel, and we wanted to talk to you about doing a few shoots for us?"

"Sure, I'm available all next week."

"I'll be in LA for a few days. I can come by your office, and talk?"

"Ok, sounds good. What time?"

"Say around two in the afternoon, on monday."

"Ok, I'll see you then."

Amy was speechless. She's always gotten asked to do shoots for big companies, and even magazines. This was the first time she's ever been asked to shoot for a television network. If I landed this offer, I could be rolling in dough. I was thankful they scheduled for Monday. I hated working the weekends. It was my free time, however, my rates did go up on the week end, and I only did occasional shoots then. I decided to take a nap, before tonight's shoot. I had a concert to go to, and the band wanted me to take some shoots for their website. I went to my room, and layed down, finding it easy to fall asleep.

* * *

**_Hey everyone! Sorry I know this is a really crappy chapter. I was unsure of where I wanted this to go, and I was having real bad writers block! I'm so glad its over with now, almost done with chapter ten, Reviews please!_**


	10. Chapter 10 Home Again

**_Chapter Ten_**

**_Home Again_**

Once again I found my self landing in Washington, for the second time in a couple of weeks. I wasn't sure of how to feel. It was hard to say goodbye to Liz, she and I had become close, and we promised to keep in touch. I walked through the airport, then realized that I had to take a cab here. I didn't really want to deal with my brother, but I didn't want to take a cab home either. I decided to call my brother. I took out my phone and turned it on for the first time since I left. I felt bad when I saw about 25 missed calls, and several texts, and voice mails. I didn't want to look at them, so instead I skipped to his name, and pushed the call button. It only rang once, before Josh answered.

"Jake, is that you?"

"Yeah, I'm at the airport."

"I'm on my way."

The boys hung up, and there was nothing for Jake to do other than wait for his brother.

* * *

I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel right now. I was so worried about my little brother. The things he did in his life made me question his sanity. How much could I possibly cover for him? I always had his back, even when it put him, and everyone around him in danger, I always backed him up. Then we get home, and he takes off to a different country without telling me. I was just completely exhausted from everything he did. It seemed like he just didn't care about how his actions made everybody feel. I was tired of arguing with him, exhausted from trying to get through to him. This time I wasn't sure what to think. Do I get mad, and yell, or do I sit back and let him do what he wants to do. Let him leave without notice for however long he wants, and then returns, and expects me to drop my life to go pick him up when he feels like returning? I felt like hitting my head against a brick wall, but I was Josh Harris, Jake Harris older brother. I was the collected one. I was the one to think things through, and Jake was always the wild one. As I approached the airport, I decided to call Jake to let him know I was outside waiting for him.

"Hey, I'm outside by the pick up line." Josh said.

"Ok."

They hung up, and Jake walked outside with his duffel bag. He spotted his brother a ways away standing on the side of his new car. Jake didn't bother saying much to his brother, instead he just got in the car, and waited for the lecture. Jake was shocked when Josh didn't say a single word to him, in fact most of the ride home was quiet.

"Aren't you going to lecture me, or tell me I need to grow up?" Jake asked.

"No." Josh said. He didn't want to argue anymore. He didn't want to be the one to hold his brother down. If Jake wanted to do things without thinking, then it was Jake who had to learn for himself. "Are you mad?" Jake asked, sounding like a child who was caught doing something wrong. It was completely unlike Jake.

"No I'm not. I was just worried about you, and really hurt that you would leave without saying goodbye, or telling me where your going, and what your up too. You didnt' even call me when you landed to let me know you made it safe. In fact, you didn't even call me at all." Josh found himself doing exactly what he said he wouldn't do. "Sorry Jake. Its your life, you do what you want with it." Josh said coldly.

Jake was hurt by his brothers remark. He knew he should have said something, but he was an adult. He shouldn't need another adults permission to do what he wanted. Josh was just his brother, not his father. And that was something that completely pissed Jake off. Everytime Josh fought with Jake about doing things like this, Jake did what he could to do those things. Josh knew there was no changing his brother. He just had to learn to deal with things as they came.

* * *

I was so nervous, as I shook David's hand for the first time. I couldn't believe I was going to potentially do business with a television network. All my hard work was paying off... hopefully.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Do you have coffee? I'm pretty jet lagged."

"Yes I do, how do you take it?"

"Black." David said. I asked him to take a seat, and make himself comfortable, as I brought him his coffee. He thanked me, and took a sip, then put the mug down. Suddenly he looked ready to talk business. "I've seen your work, and I have to say, you seem to catch something that a lot of other photographers cant seem to grasp."

"Thank you!"

"I came here because I have an offer for you. One of our photographers quit last week, because his wife just had a baby. I really need someone who is not afraid of risk taking. I need someone who is willing, and ready for an adventure, and wants to capture that in picture. Now there is a lot of money that could be made here, if your willing to accept?" David said, sliding over a thick black folder to Amy.

Amy took it in her hands, and opened it. She couldn't believe it. There inside was a contract offering her a twenty-five thousand dollar contract for nine months. Everything was written up, and ready to be signed.

"Think it over will you. This is just one contract, for the first nine months. Depending on how you do with us, you could earn a lot more."

"I don't really know what to say right now, I'm completely speechless." Amy said with a smile on her face, "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly do you want me to shoot?"

* * *

I was more then happy to be home. It felt like ages since I last seen my house. Though Josh was parked in front of my house, I didn't make a move to get out, nor did Josh say anything to me. I felt bad for what I had done, but at the same time I didn't. I needed to prove that I could handle myself on my own. I needed him to not worry about me. The whole drug thing in the past really made everyone around me second guess everything I did. I knew my brother always had my back when I needed him, but this was driving me nuts. I wanted him to say anything to me at this point, even if it would turn into screaming.

"Do you want to come in?" I offered.

"Fine." Josh said. I smiled, and opened my door, and stepped out of the car. I lifted my bag onto my shoulder, and walked up the wooden steps leading to the front door. I opened the door, and walked in, holding it open for Josh. I collapsed on the couch, and watched as Josh did the same.

"Where did you go?" Josh asked.

I didn't say anything, instead I took out the letter, and a few pictures of Berlynn. Liz told me I could take a few pictures, since she had made doubles of everything. I handed the pictures to Josh, and watched for a reaction, as he looked over the three pictures.

"Who is this?"

"That is the girl that wrote this letter."

"So you went to Nova Scotia to find her? It looks like you found her." Josh said, placing the pictures down on the coffee table.

"No actually I didn't. I found her aunt. her aunt told me that she killed herself, but I have a feeling she's still alive somewhere."

"Jake, when is this going to stop? Your chasing a ghost, do you know how much everyone is worrying about you? Sig called me because he was worried about you. Even Edgar... be honest just for a minute, are you doing drugs again?" Josh asked, now standing up, and pacing the floor.

"Look at me Josh." Jake said standing up, "Look at me, look in my eyes, look at my face. Do I look like I'm doing drugs? For the first time in my life I feel like I need to do something for myself. I haven't been so determined in a long time. I've faced one challenge after another, and I think this is pops way of telling me something. I think I'm supposed to find this girl. Weather you think I'm crazy, or doing drugs, or whatever, I'm going to find her. I know she's alive."

Josh couldn't take listening to his brother anymore, so he left, speeding out of the yard, and into the road. Did he not understand how crazy he sounded. It was always us that people tried to find. Ever since the show started people have gone crazy trying to meet the famous Harris brothers. Josh couldn't understand why his brother was so determined to find someone who wanted to give up life. Jake wasn't to far from that point himself not to long ago. What was going through that boy's head was a mystery to Josh. Whatever it was, Josh couldn't support him.

* * *

**_Another one done, and posted! This one longer then the last, hope it makes up for the last chapter lol! Review! _**


	11. Chapter 11 Apologies and Open Doors

**_Chapter Eleven_**

**_ Apologies and Open Doors_**

It had been no longer then two days, before Josh realized he needed to apologize to his brother. Jake made him realize something during their last argument. Jake needed to find himself again. They had both had to deal with so much, the loss of their father, dealing with working, and learning on two separate boats. Jake had his drug problem, and Josh had to clean up the pieces Jake left behind. Jake needed to find who he was without dad guiding him, and without Josh pushing him to do something, and without the influence of the drugs. This was something completely new for Jake, and Josh as well. Josh was always there to help where ever there needed help.

Once again, Josh found himself walking up to his brother's door, he knocked, and waited for an answer. Jake opened the door, and stared at Josh, before allowing him to come in. Josh walked into the livingroom, and sat down. "How have you been?" Josh asked.

"I'm good." Jake replied. There was an awkward pause, before Jake continued, "So what have I missed?

"Not much, man. I got a call from Johnathan, and there is going to be an interview with the Time Bandit crew, and the Northwestern crew about us. So, unfortunately, we have to leave for Dutch a week before the season actually starts."

"Sometimes I hate the show." Jake said, point-blank.

"I hear ya, bro."

"Josh, I'm sorry I left without saying anything."

"Its alright. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you for wanting to go find a girl."

"I wasn't gonna find much. You were right about chasing a ghost." Both boys laughed, and hugged each other. For the first time in a long time, it felt like they were back to the way it used to be, before everything fell apart.

* * *

"I want you to go to Alaska, and do a one on one interview with a the Time Bandit Crew, and the Northwestern crew from the show Deadliest Catch." David said. I couldn't believe what he was offering me. I had seen the show before, and loved it. Actually I loved the Harris boys, but still, I think I would've been completely stupid to turn it down. "I'd love too!"

"Great. Take your time, and look over the contract, then all you need to do is sign on the line, and next week you will be on your way to Alaska." I couldn't believe it. This was actually going to happen. Somehow I still felt funny about it. Maybe it was just the whole idea of doing an interview, then doing a photo shoot. I knew the photos wouldn't be a problem, but it was actually setting up a camera, and doing the interview that made me nervous. Oh well! I had a week to prepare myself, all would be good. I looked over the contract again, and signed my name.

"Thank you Amy, but you didn't sign your last name."

"I dont have a last name. I was given up as a baby, and I was never adopted, so legally, I have no last name."

"Well then, I guess its all settled, I will have my assistant stop by tomorrow afternoon to bring over some things for you. Here is my card, call me as soon as you get it, and if you need anything just give me a call."

I thanked him, and walked him out. I was so overjoyed, I wasn't exactly sure what to do with myself. Once I saw David turn the corner, I ran back into my house, and shut the door behind me. I leaned against the door, and looked over my contract, not believing that I just opened a door for a new life for myself. I ran through the house screaming, and laughing.

* * *

**_Sorry its been a few days since the last update, but here it is. I feel like this is going terribly slow, so just bear with me on this fic. I am going to try to update a little more on this fic. Review please!_**


	12. Chapter 12 Party Time

_**Chapter Twelve**_

_**Party Time **_

I couldn't believe it was a day before I had to leave for Alaska. My stomach was knots for perfectly good reasons. I was all ready for the trip. David's assistant brought over several items that I would need, including a duffel bag, a cellphone, a credit card, and a file including the questions I would be asking the crew. I had my bags packed and ready to go in a couple of days. My suitcases sat next to the door waiting to leave. I was supposed to call David tomorrow, and check in with him before I boarded the plane. In the meantime, I needed something to do before I left. I felt like I was walking into a better, and stronger opportunity in a new world, so that ment a whole new me. I decided to go get my hair, and nails done. I walked into the hair salon I frequented, and was greeted by the girls, aka Allison, and Kim. They were my best friends since highschool, and the only ones I trusted enough to cut my hair.

"Hey girl! Whats going on?" Kim asked, as she came up to me and hugged me. I smiled, and hugged her back, "Well, I have some great news!" Allison, and Kim squeaked, and leaned over the counter to listen. The girls, had worked hard saving their money to one day own a hair salon. They both new it was their dream, and destiny. Going through college, there was no doubt this was the field they were ment to work in. They were like hair goddesses, both complimenting eachothers styles completely. Allison was the more layed back, she didn't like to take chances on her customers, and always played it safe with them, where Kim was wild, and pushed the edgier look. The salon was close to closing time, but the girls always stayed a bit longer to clean up the shop.

"Well, the other day I got a call from a guy named David."

"Ooh... is he hot?" Kim asked.

"Well no, but thats not it, he offered me a job."

"Girl, I thought we had the prostitution job talk a long time ago. If your photography skills..."

"No no no!" I said laughing, "He wants me to go to Alaska, and do an interview, and photo shoot for that show on Discovery Channel... Deadliest Catch."

"Oh, my boyfriend watches that show, he keeps saying one day he's going to buy a boat, and earn a lot of money by going fishing." Allison replied.

"Yeah, I heard they make a lot of money, maybe you'll get lucky heh!" Kim said, as she nudged me with a smirk on her face. I shook my head laughing, "Kim, this is serious! This could really be a big boost for my career! I'm really excited about this."

"Well thats good, girl. You'll be the only one who will stay single, and have no sex life because your thinking about your career." Kim retorted.

"C'mon guys. I have a sex life. I go out." I tried to defend myself.

"Mhm, when was the last time you went out on a date?" Allison asked.

"Without your camera?" Kim added.

"I go out... look I'm here right now, I went out."

"Thats it! Makeover time! Al, go buy some sexy clothes for Amy, we are going to the club tonight!"

"Guys no, seriously. I have a lot of work to do."

"I think you mean, we have a lot of work to do. You're a mess!" Kim said, as she forced Amy into a chair, and fanned out her hair.

"I just want some layers." I said, as Kim examined my hair.

"Sweetie, you've warn your hair the same way since the first day I met you. Just relax, and let me cut your hair."

"I dont want it cut." I whined, but it was no use, Kim just hushed me, and took a chunk of my hair in her hands, as she cut it. I bit my lip, and closed my eyes, trying not to think about what was being done to my hair.

* * *

Time seemed to be going by incredibly slow. I wanted to get back out, and start fishing again. The stress from everything that had been building up since last crab season was taking its toll on my mind. The only thing that would help was to get back to fishing. Jake had his bags packed, and waiting by the door, for the first time in his life he felt like he had nothing to do. Jake looked at the clock, grumbling to himself. It was only 8:45pm, Jake reached for his phone, and called his brother.

"Whats up little bro?" Josh asked, as he answered his phone.

"Lets go for a drive." Jake asked, in an almost pleading manner.

"I'd love to but I'm kinda busy right now. Can I call you later?" Jake could hear Josh's girlfriend in the back round, and apologized. The next thing he heard was the dial tone, and wondered what he had done in life to be so alone. Once again he started to reminence on the past. He missed his father, whenever he needed something to do his father was always there. He remembered how he would get calls in the middle of the night from his dad, telling him to get up so they could go for a drive, and he missed that.

Josh had his own life, and he was growing up fast. He didn't seem like he had time for his little brother anymore. Jake felt more alone then he ever did. These were the times where he needed someone the most. Those feelings he had was exactly what drove him to drugs. Jake turned over in bed once again, staring at the clock. The clock read 9:30pm. Jake rolled back over, silently cursing the clock. In some sadistic way, Jake felt as if the time was taunting him. He skimmed through his contacts on his phone until he reached Jake Anderson's number, and pushed send. He waited, but it went straight to voicemail. Frustrated Jake hung up the phone, and got up out of bed. He put on some jeans, and pulled on a white baggy shirt, then he slipped into his shoes, and made his way out the door, and into his car. He wasn't sure where he was going, but that didn't matter, he needed to get out of the house, he needed some fresh air. Within ten minutes of driving to nowhere particular, Jake found himself parked infront of a bar. He didn't bother bringing his phone, only his wallet, and keys. Jake's thought was that if no one wanted to talk to him, then he didn't want anyone to call him back. Jake got out of his car, and walked into the bar, showing the bouncer his ID. The bouncer who was wearing all black, stamped his hand, which allowed him into the bar.

Loud music, and bright lights, along with the overwhelming smell of alcohol burning Jakes nostrils, completely blinded his senses. Jake took a seat in a corner on the bar, where a lady wearing a tight black mini skirt, and a white top that cut off right underneath her breasts, came up to him, and asked what he would like to drink.

"Whatever you got." Jake said, as he took notice of how plastic the girl was. She was definitely something Josh would like. Her hair was long, thick and blonde. Her eyes a piercing blue color, which sent chills over Jakes body. Jake could tell she had visited a tanning salon, her skin color was far from normal, especially for living in Seattle. She was way to barbie like, Jake prefered real girls, sure he's been with women like her. Girls like that only wanted someone to sleep with, and money to spend. Jake wanted a girl who wanted more then that.

The barbie came back with a few mixed drinks, Jake didn't ask what they were, and a pitcher of beer, Jake downed two shots of Jack as quick as he could. Before long Jakes world was blended together, in a spinning mess. Unable to make out anything around him, all he could do was sit there in the booth, completely wasted. The loud music was becoming a nuisance to him, as it became almost impossible to form any sort of thought that made sense at all.

Jake could make out a figure coming closer to him, but he couldn't keep his eyes open long enough to see who it was. He started fading away...

* * *

**_YAY Another one finished! Let me know what you guys think... I'm going in for surgery soon, found out I have skin cancer, so this may be the last chapter uploaded until after the surgery. Reviews plz! Thanks! 3_**


	13. Chapter 13 Hangover

_**Chapter Thirteen**_

_**Hangover**_

I opened my eyes only to squeeze my eyes shut again. The sun was blinding, and that wasn't helping the enormous headache that was dancing around my head. I rolled over, and tried opening my eyes again, only to find a head full of blonde hair in my face. I jumped, not remembering what happened last night. The more I tried to search my thoughts, and remember the more questions I had. I peaked under the sheets, and sure enough we were both naked. I sighed to myself, and stood up in bed, only to run for the bathroom, as I let everything spill out of my stomach. Feeling somewhat better, I was able to get dressed. The girl was now sitting up in bed, a very content smile plastered on her face. "Good morning babe." She said. I cringed at the fakeness of her voice, like nails on a chalk board. Was this girl for real?

"Um, Hi. ...Sorry but who are you?" The look of disappointment was evident on her face. The girl blushed, "I'm surprised you don't remember me, you were just screaming my name a few hours ago."

Jake gave an irritated look towards the girl, she didn't seem to care though. He ignored her comment, and continued to put his shoes on. Once he had them on, he got up, and started heading for the door.

"Where ya going babe? Dont you want some more?" The girl asked, then giggled, as she crawled out from under the sheets to the edge of the bed. She sat herself on the corner of the bed, completely naked, as she spread her legs for Jake. Jake didn't say anything to her, the look on his face would have been enough, except she wasn't paying much attention to that. All she wanted was him. Jake continued to walk out the door, and was thankful the girl didn't follow him, or try to get him to go back for more.

Once outside, Jake took in a deep breath of fresh air. Remembering he left his phone at home, and he had a plane to catch. Not knowing where he was at, Jake cursed himself, and continued walking down the street. There was a conveince store on the corner, Jake decided to use the pay phone, and call his brother.

* * *

Josh had tried to get ahold of his brother all morning, but no matter how many times he tried to call Jake didn't answer. After a few hours curiosity got the best of him, and he decided to drive the fifteen minutes to check on his brother.

Josh noticed his brothers truck was missing, and the panic started rising in his stomach. Josh parked his car, and ran up to the door, knocking as loud as he could, at the same time, his phone started ringing, unable to recognize the number, Josh had second thoughts about answering it, but decided to anyway.

"Hello?" Josh asked.

"You have a collect call from... Jake. To accept this call stay on the line and you will be connected. If you don't wish to accept this call, push end, or hand up now." Josh tapped his foot, worried about his little brother, and waited to be connected.

"Josh?" Jake asked.

"What the hell Jake? Where are you?"

"Dude, I'm at a conveince store." Jake answered. After giving the cross streets.

"Wheres your car?" Josh asked.

"I'll tell you when you come pick me up."

"Fine, don't go anywhere, or do anything stupid."

"Peace!" Jake replied before hanging up the phone.

I kicked at a rock in Jake's yard, I couldn't believe him sometimes. I got in my car, and started speeding down the street. Jake was about forty five minutes away, and we had a plane to catch in three hours. I couldn't believe he was doing this to me, of all days.

Traffic was insane, everybody was trying to get to work. There was nothing I could do about it, I couldn't turn back now, all I could do was keep inching my way towards the exit from the highway.

About half an hour later I had finally been able to pull into the conveince store parking lot, and saw Jake sitting by the payphones. He looked like a bum, wearing a white wife beater shirt, and baggy jeans. I parked my car, and walked to him. Standing in front of him, he bearly looked up at me. He must have taken note of how my facial expression was when I pulled up. He knew I was beyond pissed at him. "Lets go." Was all I said. Jake stood up, and followed me to the car, we both got in, and drove off.

"So what happened last night?" I asked, though I had a good idea of what might have happened.

"Nothing." Jake replied, not wanting to hear it from his brother. He was broken, and let the moment of the previous night temporarily fix him, or perhaps just blind his memory, and sight.

"Did you get fucked up?"

"I didn't do drugs, if that's what you're asking."

"Then why can't you tell me..."

"You really want to know? I needed someone last night. I needed my brother to talk to, but you were busy, so I called Anderson, and he was busy, so I went to the bar. In the morning, I woke up next to some chick, and then I left, and called you to come get me." Jake screamed to the top of his lungs, leaving Josh completely stunned. The rest of the ride home was quiet. Neither of the boys dared to say a word, Jake refused to even look in Josh's direction.

It felt like years before they finally reached Jake's house, as soon as the car started slowing down, Jake jumped out, and ran up to his house. Jake's actions increased Josh's anger. As the older Harris followed the younger male into the wooden house, slamming the door behind him. Josh walked into the living room, where he saw his brother holding a lit cigarette, and sitting casually on his couch.

"Ok Jake, What the fuck is this about?"

"What this?" Jake pointed to the cigarette, "I usually have one when I'm tense." Jake said, purposely being as smart as he could.

"Stop it. Why are you being a bitch?"

"Fuck off Josh."

"You know what. Whatever. I'm so tired of this shit. I do so much for you, and your too blind to see any of it. All you care about is yourself. Your on your own from now on. I have to go. I have a plane to catch."

* * *

**_Thank you to everyone who wished me well! I'm feeling much better, thank you! Tomorrow I go back to make sure all the cancer is gone. I hope so! Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I'm working on a hilarious ONESHOT with Jake, and Josh, of course! Who else lol!. In the meantime let me know what you think of this chapter! Hope you enjoyed it!_**


	14. Chapter 14 A Day Late

**_Chapter Fourteen_**

**_A day Late_**

Josh arrived in Alaska right on time, happily greeted by all the Bering Sea fishermen. There was plenty to catch up on with the guys, but there was even more work to be done, and on top of all that, there was a special interview that would take place tomorrow. Only three boats had been chosen for the interview, the main three boats, the Cornelia Marie, the Northwestern, and the Time Bandit. Josh tried not to think about the argument that happened between him, and his brother the only a few hours ago, but he couldn't help but let it weigh on his mind.

* * *

I knew I had to catch the next flight to Alaska. I just didn't want to go with my brother, since he has to act like a total ass at times. I know hes only looking out for me, but c'mon he's gotta lighten up a little. With everything we were going through, and dealing with, I picked up my bags to once again stand next to my brother, on the same boat, or a different one.

A few hours later I had arrived in Dutch Harbor. Taking in the familiar smell of fish, and the salty sea air, as it burned my lungs for the first time in a little over a month. I was happy to be back to my first home. Sure I lived in Washington, and had a house there, but I spent more time on the boat, and in Alaska then I did in Washington. It wasn't long before I ran into my brother.

"Well, looks like you made it... finally." Josh said, adding the last bit in there just to push his little brothers buttons.

"Yep, thanks for leaving without me."

"It's not like you were going to go anyway." Josh said.

"And you would know, since you didn't give me a chance to follow you out the door."

"Jake, I'm not going to play the pity game with you. You know yourself, better than I do. But I'm not stupid, and I know even if I had waited, you wouldn't have gone with me." Josh knew he was right, just as much as Jake knew he was right, but Jake would never admit it.

"Whatever bro. I'm gonna grab a drink. Are the rest of the guys in the bar?"

"Yeah." Was all Josh replied.

Jake walked into the bar, and was welcomed with open arms from several different crews. Everyone told Jake about the interviews that took place the day before, so it was a good thing he came late. Jake was happy about that, since he didn't care to be in the spot light all the time. After a round of drinks, Jake started feeling more comfortable, and more relaxed then he had felt before. His brother really knew how to pinch a nerve, but Jake wasn't going to let that ruin his fun. Jake listened to the guys talk about the interview the day before. Some of the guys announced that she might try to find me, and interview me. I let it roll off my shoulders, as I downed another drink. Just then, I caught a glimpse of my brother walking into the bar, but he wasn't alone.

There was a girl who followed him in, but took a seat in the corner of the bar, as Josh headed towards me. I gave him a questioning look, as I glanced towards the girl, only seeing the back of her head. "She wants an interview, so I told her to wait there, and you would go see her." Josh said. Jake gave him a smirk. It was the same smirk he wore whenever he knew someone was pushing him to do something he didn't want to do. "I'm not doing an interview." Jake said. "Well, go and tell her that." Josh said as he walked away. He hated how his brother always got him involved with things that he didn't want to take part in. Jake put down his glass next to Sig, then walked over to the girl. "Whatever my brother said to you, it's just not going to happen. Sorry for wasting my time." Jake said before the girl could even turn to look at him, or acknowledge his presence. As Jake turned to leave, the girl stood up, and caught his a piece of Jake's hoodie. Jake looked down at his arm, and slowly turned around. The girl gulped, feeling a bit threatened, and insecure. "I... I'm sorry. B b but, I will only take a minute of your time." Jake looked at the girl feeling somehow connected to her. She was oddly familiar, but he had never seen her before in his life. Jake agreed to sit down, and talk with her for a few minutes, and slid into the booth without saying another word.

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**_So much going on in my life at the moment. It's nice to write. Writting always helps to clear my mind! Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! The next chapter is in work in progress right now. Reviews Please! Cant wait to get the next chapter done, and uploaded! Its going to be ... well you'll see when you read it ;D_**


	15. Chapter 15 Interview Date

Chapter Fifteen

Interview Date

Jake sat in front of the currently unnamed girl, staring at her. His mind searching for an answer as to why she seemed so familiar. Jake could tell she was nervous, as she avoided his gaze, and was looking at everything but him. Her hands fiddling with whatever was around trying to keep herself as busy as she could.

"So..." She began.

"Why are you so nervous. Dont you do this for a living?"

"Well, no. I'm a photographer, but I..."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Working."

"So your one of thoooose girls." Jake said with a smirk on his face.

The girl made a face before responding, "No, nor will I ever be."

"So whats your name?" Jake asked.

"Amy."

"Hmm..."

"Whats that for?"

"You seem so familiar. Have I met you before?"

"No."

The two sat staring at each other for a while, until they were interrupted by Josh, "Hey bro, we gotta go." But there was little response from his brother, who seemed to be in a trance like state. Josh slowly backed up enough so he could look at both Jake, and Amy at the same time. The look between the two gave Josh goosebumps.

"Hey, do you two know each other or something?" Josh asked, shaking both of them out of their trance.

"No, why?" Jake, and Amy asked simultaneously. Josh eyed them both, before shaking his head, and walking away.

"What was that about?" Amy asked.

"I'm not sure." Jake said. The two looked at each other, then laughed.

"Why don't we get out of here, and maybe get some lunch?" Amy asked, "Then I can interview you."

Jake nodded his head, "Lets go."

Jake, and Amy walked out into the cold Alaskan air. The snow crunched under their feet, as they walked down the road slowly together. Neither one of them were in a rush. Occasionally they would exchange glances, then quickly looking away. Jake noticed a blush on Amy's face, which caused him to smile.

There was something about this girl, who made him feel different, and somehow he felt like he knew her. He had a nagging voice in his head that told him to stay with her. But who was she? Why couldn't he figure that out? Ever since the show started, Jake met so many people that he was unsure of who he met. Jake glanced at Amy once again, only this time he didn't look away when she looked at him.

"What?" Amy laughed.

"Sorry." Jake smiled, and continued to stare, "You look so familiar. Your really beautiful.

Amy bit her lip, and looked at her feet, as she walked. Jake noticed the blush on her cheeks, and couldn't help but smile because of it.

"Thank you, but we've never met before." Amy said, still blushing. As they reached a small diner, Jake scooted closer to Amy as they neared the door. She bowed her head to keep from looking at Jake.

Why am I so nervous all of a sudden? I've never acted like this before. Amy thought to herself.

Jake opened the door for Amy, following her inside. The diner was clearly old, and run down, but it was still filled with the locals, who loved to eat there. Amy, and Jake to their seats and looked over their menu. Ordering their food, and drinks, Amy started to strike up a conversation.

"So what got you into fishing, and what made you stick with it?"

"Well, when I was a kid my grandfather used to take me fishing on his boat, and I loved it. It runs in my blood."

"So your grandfather was a fishermen, and your dad was a fishermen, and know you, and your brother are following tradition. Do you ever want to go down another path, just to see what else is out there for you?"

"Well you know, you start doing one thing, and it takes up so much time. Sure I've thought about it before, when your on deck, and its freezing outside, and the wind is blowing, and the waves keep hitting you, and its like three or four in the morning when you know your supposed to be sleeping. Then you start thinking to yourself, am I really this crazy to be doing this job right now? Or when you haven't slept in a week, and your body is on the brink of shutting down, and your mind keeps telling you to stop. Its hard, I don't know a crabber that has never asked himself, 'What am I doing here?'"

"Woah, that must really be hard on you. Is there any method you take to keep yourself going when you're so exhausted like that?"

"Crab." Jake said, as the waiter came, and placed their plates and drinks in front of them.

"Thank you!" Amy, and Jake said in unison.

"Your welcome, enjoy your food."

Amy smiled, and started to fidget around her plate, trying to decide what to take a bite of first. Jake watched her, and let out a small giggle. Amy looked up with a questioning look, "What?" She asked.

"Nothing."

"Mhm." Amy laughed.

"Here." Jake reached over, and picked up a french fry from her plate, and held it up to her lips. Amy carefully took it, into her mouth. In that moment Jake felt his world stop around him, and time just seemed to stand still. Jake couldn't help himself, he it was like he was drawn to Amy. She was so beautiful!

"That was delicious! Thanks Jake!" Amy giggled. Jake smiled, and nodded his head, "Arn't you going to eat?" Amy asked, realizing that Jake hadn't touched a single bite of his food.

"Oh, hehe. Yeah. I'm not really hungry. I'll just take it to the boat, since were leaving soon anyway." Jake looked up at Amy in thought, "Would you like to see the boat?"

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**_I'm sooooo sorry its been so long since the last update, but here you go! Enjoy! Let me know what you think, and I will hopefully have the next chapter up soon._**


	16. Chapter 16 In The Moment

**_Chapter Sixteen_**

**_In The Moment _**

Jake helped Amy over the rail of the boat, and smiled once she got her footing on deck. "Welcome to the Cornelia Marie." Amy's eyes grew wide, as she walked around the deck in circles, "Wow!" She whispered, "Jake this is amazing!" Amy said.

"I know!" Jake agreed, with a smile on his face. Jake was enthralled with Amy. The way her body moved. The way her hair blew in the wind. The way her eyes lit up at the simplest things. That adorable giggle she had when she was nervous. It was all almost too much to take.

"C'mon, I'll show you the wheelhouse."

"Ok." Amy said as she clutched Jake's arm, and followed him inside. Jake lead her up the stairs, and into the wheelhouse. Jake walked ahead, to the seat his father sat so many times, day after day or crab fishing. He let his hand rest of the top of the seat, as he squeezed it. "My dad passed away, this was his boat. He was so proud of it, and he was so proud of Josh, and me for following in his footsteps. We couldn't afford to take it out last year, but this year we can."

"I'm so sorry Jake. I know how hard it is to lose your parents." Amy said, as she gave Jake's arm a squeeze from behind. Jake turned around, and pulled Amy into a hug. Amy let out a gasp of surprise, and tried to push him away, but Jake was much stronger than he looked.

"Shhh... just stay like this with me for a while." Jake whispered. Amy relaxed, and wrapped her arms around my waist. Having her so close to me really felt like fireworks going off. I felt dizzy, and unsure of my feelings. I was so confused in that moment, that I didn't realize what I was about to do next.

I looked up at Jake, as he looked down at me. Our lips just centimeters apart, until Jake closed the small gap between us. I had never been kiss like that before in my life. I couldn't control my hands, as they found the way around Jake's neck, and into his hair, deepening the kiss.

My hands seemed to have a mind of their own, as they ran wild over Amy's body. Our tongues fought for control. The more control she pushed for, the hotter the kiss got. I couldn't take it anymore, and I backed up to the wall until her back hit the cold steel of the boat. Her hands wrestling with the hem of my shirt, as if asking permission, it was only then I broke the kiss. Looking into her eyes, I searched for something. Both of us out of breath, and our eyes filled with lust. I took her hand into mine, and led her off the boat, and back to my hotel room. I didn't want to start anything at the boat, when the crew would be there anytime to start stacking the pots.

It seemed like forever until we reached the motel room in Dutch Harbor. It was far from a five-star hotel. It was just a small, simple motel. It was honestly an eye sore, but it made do.

During the walk back to the motel, Jake, and Amy couldn't keep their hands off each other. Every couple of steps they stopped to exchange kisses. They walked with their fingers entwined together. Their eyes meeting each other, searching deep within each others soul for something unknown to both of them.

Jake closed the door behind them, only to corner Amy against the wall, and capture her lips with his. This time, their hands were free to roam each others body without question. Amy slipped her hands under Jake's shirt, feeling his soft skin against her hands, as she lifted his oversized shirt over his head. Amy raked her nails lightly over Jake's chest, and down his abs. Amy's touch literally making Jake's knee's buckle. Fighting the urge to melt under her touch, he set fire to her world, by reciprocating her actions. Jake's fingers wriggled up Amy's shirt, teasing her as much as he could. She squirmed under his touch in a begging way. In one swift motion, Jake had taken off Amy's shirt before she knew what had happened. Jake pulled Amy away from the wall, and onto the bed, where her kissed down her neck, until he got to her bra, carefully unclasping it, and tossing it across the room. Amy smiled, with a blush on her face. Jake sharing the same blush, as he continued to kiss down her body, then sliding her jeans, and panties off. Jake took a moment to look over her body, how perfect she seemed to be. He couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she was, he had finally gotten the right one, he thought, and he would be damned if he let her go. Amy sat up, and tugged on Jake's belt, fumbling with it until finally getting it off. Amy tugged Jake's pants off, as fast as she could. Jake looked deep into Amy's eyes once more, as he pushed himself inside her. As she clung to him, they made love together.

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**_Thank you so much for all the comments on the last chapter! I have a surprise for you all in the next chapter, so give me lots of comments, and I'll have seventeen up soon! _**


	17. Chapter 17 The Reveal

Chapter Seventeen

The Reveal

In the morning I woke up to Amy snuggled into my side, her head resting on my chest, right above my heart. Her face looked so peaceful, and for the first time I felt like I had actually made love to someone. I wrapped my arm around her feeling satisfied with everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. I had completely forgotten about the argument between my brother, and me. The only thing I was dreading most, was leaving tonight. I didn't want too. Though I knew I had no other option, I had to tell her how I felt about her. Would it be too selfish to ask her to wait for me? Even though I know I only had a day with her, and I would be gone much longer then she deserved. I'm sure someone else could take care of her, and give her everything she needed, but I loved this girl.

I felt my phone vibrate, and I reached over to see the number. It was Liz, and I knew I had to answer it. I quickly, but carefully crept out of bed, and pulled on some sweat pants, then walked into the hallway before answering the phone, "Hey Liz."

"Hello Jake. Sorry if it's too early. I just wanted to wish you good luck before you leave."

"Thank's Liz. That means a lot."

"Thats not the only reason why I called, Jake." Liz said.

"What?"

"I'm cleaning out Berlynns room. I've come to terms with her death, and I think I need to move on too. I know how much you enjoyed looking at the pictures, so I was hoping you would take them? I've got them ready to be shipped out, and I want to send them right away."

As if someone just slapped Jake in the face, he stumbled back, as images of Berlynn came rushing back to him. He was at a loss for words, "Liz, I'm sorry, but I need to go. I'll call you when I get home." Jake said, and hung up the phone. His heart raced, as he realized what he had in his room.

Jake slowly opened the door to his room, and walked inside. Amy was no longer in the bed, but hovering over the nightstand, where she seemed to be looking at something. "Berlynn..." Jake called out softly. Amy turned around, with tears in her eyes.

"Where did you get this?" Amy asked holding up the letter Jake had kept.

"Last season it got stuck in one of the crab pots." Jake said. He stood on the side of the bed, Amy stood by the night table. Jake felt sympathy for the woman in front of him, where she felt so unsure, and lost.

"How many times did you read it?" She asked.

"Thousands probably. You drove me crazy with the words you wrote."

Amy sobbed even more, "How did you know it was me?"

"I fell in love with you the first time I read your letter. Throughout the season I couldn't help but think that it was my father, or fate that sent me that letter. I knew I had found it for a reason. When the season ended, I got on the first flight out to Nova Scotia, and I found your Aunt Liz."

"What?" Amy asked feeling more shocked than before.

"She misses you, Berlynn." At the sound of her birth name, Berlynn fell to her knees in a sobbing mess. "Liz showed me pictures of you, and your parents. She showed me your room. She told me how mean you were treated. And how she thought you had jumped into the sea, after you wrote the letter."

"I wanted to jump so bad. I didn't know how to escape. All I knew was that I couldn't live with people who hated me." Amy cried out.

"My heart broke when Liz said you jumped, I didn't want to believe it. You were the only thing that kept me going during the rest of the season."

"Really?" Amy looked up at Jake with bloodshot eyes. Jake smiled, and fell to his knees, and wiped away her tears.

"Really." Jake answered, then placed a gently kiss on her forehead. "So what happened, if you didn't jump?" Jake was eager to learn how she survived, and what she did to get out of the life that was causing her so much pain.

"After I wrote the letter, I took off my shoes and layed them down on the rocks. I did jump into the water thinking I would die, but then I woke up. I was on a boat, and there was a doctor on board that worked, and lived in California. When the coast guard was called he had them take me to that hospital where he worked. They treated me for minor cuts, and bruises, a broken arm, a minor concussion. and hypothermia. When it came for my realise, they wouldn't allow me to leave unless my parents picked me up. When I told them what happened to my parents, and I told them thats the reason why I jumped into the water in the first place. They asked if I had any other family, I lied and told them no. Since I was underage they sent me into foster care, and because of my age no one wanted me. I was kicked out when I turned eighteen."

"Wow. I'm so sorry. I cant believe all that happened to you. What did you do after that?" Jake asked softly, as he held the lost girl close to his chest.

"What could I do? I didn't have money, or much of an education. I didn't know how to drive, and I didn't know anyone. I was so nieve back then. I really didn't know much about the world." Berlynn stopped for a moment, Jake took that time to kiss her, and hug her until she was able to talk again. "The first thing I did when I got out, I went down to McDonald's, and applied for a job, but no one would hire me." Berlynn laughed at the memory. "I spent my first night out on the street, and on the fourth day I met another homeless girl. We became friends quickly, and she showed me the city. We would break into old abandon houses, and that was our home for no longer then three or four days. We spent out time begging for money. We did whatever we could to find jobs. By the time I was nineteen, I had lost a ton of weight. Through all the begging we did, I had saved up three hundred dollars, and I bought myself my first camera. I started offering to take pictures of people for a dollar. Then my friend, and I hitch hiked our was to Vegas. I hit it big over there. I was making lots of money taking pictures of people, or selling my pictures of casino's that I had taken. Then one day my life changed."

"What happened?" Jake asked.

"I was setting up some of the pictures I had developed. This lady came up, and asked me if I had taken these pictures, I told her I did, and she offered to buy all of them, and also take me out to lunch. I learned to never turn down food, because I never knew when my next meal was going to be. So I said yes, and she treated me to the most expensive meal I had ever eaten in my life. And half way through, she had asked if I would be interested in a freelance position with the newspaper she worked with. I couldn't believe what I heard. She took me in as her own, and she changed my life."

"Thats why you love photography?"

"It changed my life forever, and it brought me to you." They both smiled at each other. "Jake, do you believe in love at first sight?"

* * *

**_So I know that most of you already knew that Amy was Berlynn, and I was so worried that you all were going to lose interest in the story. I hope I didn't let anyone down, and you all still enjoyed it! One question, What do you think lays ahead for this couple? I am also thinking about ending it soon, but I'm not sure yet, maybe a few more chapters. Also if you haven't been keeping up with _****_Whatever It Takes._****_ I told you guys about my new story, called _****_Trouble Maker. _****_So watch out for that, I'll give you a little preview._**

* * *

**_Preview for Trouble Maker:_**

**_Jake Harris is fifteen, and thinks since he will one day work on the boat with his father, he shouldn't have to learn anything in school, or even show up at school. When his father, Phil Harris, learns just how much his youngest son has been slacking off, he grounds Jake. But when the girl Jake has been crushing on texts him, Jake finds himself digging himself into a bigger grave. Especially since his fathers only rule is to not touch his beloved Harley. _**


	18. Chapter 18 My Girl

**_Chapter Eighteen_**

**_My Girl_**

I pondered on the question Berlynn just asked me. Honestly I wasn't sure about love, but I was sure that I loved her. I know it doesn't make sense, but I fell in love with her not because I had seen her, but because of her letter. It was her words, and the disparity she seemed to long for. I knew from the first time I read her letter that I loved her, and we should be together. "Yes I do believe." I told her, "Though I didn't fall for you the first time I saw you." Jake said truthfully.

"What?" Berlynn asked, confused.

"I fell in love with you because of your letter." Jake laughed, which caused Berlynn to blush.

"Dont you think its weird?"

"What?" Jake asked, as he held Berlynn close to him. Both of them sitting on the floor, against the nightstand that held the letter.

"I never imagined anyone finding that letter. It was just a cry for help, and you found it."

"Your right. I think we were supposed to be together." Jake smiled, feeling like he had just uncovered a treasure. He clung to Berlynn, not wanting to let her go, she was in his arms, she was his, and he had to protect her from any harm still lurking to find her. "I don't want to let you go." Jake whispered in her ear.

"Do you have to go fishing?" Berlynn asked, looking up at Jake with pleading eyes.

Jake let out a sigh, "Yes. If I dont fish, I dont make any money, but I'll always come back to you." It was strange how they talked about each other, as if they had known each other for years. Jake hadn't asked her to be his, nor did she ask him to be hers. The relationship seemed to build on its own, as if fate welded them together. Not even spending a full twenty-four hours together, and they found themselves head over heels in love with one another.

"You promise?" Berlynn asked.

"Babe, I love you. Do you know what I went through for months just trying to find you?" Jake noted.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Jake responded with a kiss. Their lips parted slightly, as Berlynns tongue traveled into Jake's mouth. Berlynn turned herself around in his lap, so she was straddling him. Her arms hung loosely around his neck, as his hands wrapped around her waist. They both moaned into the kiss, as they melted together. Then suddenly a loud banging from right outside their door. The couple jumped, before Berlynn started laughing, "I'll get it." She said, as she slid off of Jake, leaving him on the floor. She opened the door, only to face Josh, who eyed her suspiciously. "Uhhhhh... Isn't this my brother's room?" He asked, confused.

"Yes, come in." Berlynn welcomed, with a blissful smile.

Josh walked in to find his brother on the floor, staring off into space. "Jake?" Josh asked. "Jake?" Still no answer. "Jacob?" Josh yelled, making Berlynn giggle.

"Oh, hey Josh!" Jake smiled, still sitting on the floor.

"You better not be high, or I'll kill you."

"Calm down bro, I'm not high." Jake said, taking defense. Jake stood up, only to walk over to Berlynn.

"Um, Jake please tell me you didn't agree to an interview right now? You know we have to leave."

"No I didn't agree to an interview." Jake said, smiling.

"Then why is she here? No offense." Josh said, as he bowed slightly in Amy's direction.

"None taken." She replied. "Actually, I'm going to go down and grab a soda. Anyone want one?" Berlynn asked.

"No, thanks." Jake, and Josh said in unison. Berlynn smiled, and walked out the door. Josh waited a moment before he felt safe enough to question his brother.

"Mind telling me whats going on, Jake?"

"I love her."

"Dude." Josh laughed. "Shes cute, and all but, you don't even know her." Josh said, trying to talk some sense into his little brother.

"No, you don't understand." Jake said, as he picked up the letter that Berlynn wrote only a few years ago, and handed it to Josh, "She's Berlynn."

Josh looked at the letter, then back at his brother, mentally questioning his sanity. "Are you ok, dude?"

"I'm fine. I'm great actually!" Jake beamed.

"That chick, Ally, or Amy or whoever the hell she is..."

"Her name is Berlynn."

"Jake..."

"Josh, I'm serious. Ok, listen, after we left the bar last night we went to the diner, and we were talking. After that I showed her the boat, and I kissed her. After that we came back here, and I slept with her. This morning she found the letter on my nightstand, and she broke down in my arms. Shes really Berlynn." Jake said, trying to get his brother to believe him.

"You mean... Jake, I... Dude... Do you have any idea how crazy this sounds? First you go on a wild goose chase to find her, and you talk to her aunt, and her aunt tells you she's dead. You come here, and you find her!? Either this world is really small, or its fate."

"It's dad." Jake said, eyes brimming with tears.

"Jake, you dont believe that do you?"

"What am I supposed to believe? I found that letter for a reason, and the whole time I had it, I never once believed that she was dead, I knew she was still alive. I know the old man did this. I'm glad he did, because Berlynn is what I need to keep me going." Jake said, choking on his tears, "You have no idea how hard everythings been on me. You take everything so easily, I never know how your feeling, because its like you wear a mask all the time. Everything you do is for the boat, just like dad. I know you did your best to get me straight, but I couldn't do it. Thats why I need Berlynn, and she needs me."

"Jacob, I'm sorry." Josh said, pulling him into a hug. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how you felt." Josh said, as he held his brother close, letting Jake cry into his shoulder.

"Its ok." Jake said, pulling away from Josh, as he wiped his eyes free of tears, "Just as long as you start trusting me a little more."

"I don't know, bro, you've always been the crazy one." Josh said, ruffling Jake's hair.

"Hey!" Jake said, holding his hand over his heart, "That hurt bro." Jake laughed. Just then Berlynn walked in, "Oh, sorry, if I was interrupting anything." She said, timidly.

"It's all good, babe." Jake said with a smile on his face. This caused Berlynn to blush, as she walked over to Jake, but not getting close enough to make Josh uncomfortable. Jake had other ideas, not caring that his brother was in the room, he snaked his arms around Berlynns waist, pulling her close, as he kissed her lips with as much passion, as he could without ripping all her clothes off. When Jake pulled away, he had forgotten his brother was in the room, until he heard Josh coughing. Jake laughed, "Josh, this is Berlynn, and she's my girlfriend."

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**_So I'm working on Chapter Nineteen now, and I'm not sure if I want to end it there, or go for chapter twenty. I have a thing with ending my stories on an even number lol. For now, here you go, and I am trying to figure out how I want this to end. Also watchout for Trouble Maker, I should have it posted soon! Review Please! Thank you!_**


	19. Chapter 19 Unexpected

**_Chapter Nineteen_**

**_Unexpected_**

It was completely ironic how things went by so slow, and then other times things went by so fast. The moment that I met Jake, everything seemed to go by so fast. Guess what they say is true, _Time flies when you're having fun!_ I couldn't believe that over a period of just a couple of days, I became so incredibly close to him. I felt like I had slept for so many years, and now I was awakened by the one that I loved. Only a few hours ago, Jake insisted that I be his girlfriend, and was introduced to Josh, as Jake's girlfriend, not that I was complaining. The fact that I had just found my soul mate, and I was now getting ready to say goodbye to him, and I wouldn't see him again for the longest time, broke my heart.

We walked along the dock, hand in hand, no words were needed to express our feelings, I was content with that. We came up to his boat, and he turned to look at me. Jake smiled, and ran his thumb's over my cold cheeks, then traced over my chattering lips, which were now slightly chapped, from the freezing Alaskan air. "Although I have only known you for two in a half days, I feel like you're the only one for me. I feel like we are ment to be together, and that your letter was sent to me by my father, I also believe that he guided you to me, just like he guided me to you. I usually don't fall for women, but there's something about you that I can't let go of. The way you look at me with those eyes," Jake continued, as he ran his thumb underneath one of Berlynns eyes, "I dont know, its like you caught me. I love you Berlynn, but I don't expect you to wait for me. I think that would be really selfish of me to ask. I'm gone the majority of the time, and I never know if I'm going to make it off the boat at the end of the session. You could do so much better, then settling for a fishermen."

"I love my fisherman, I would never think about turning my back on him. After all, you got my letter I wrote to the sea." Berlynn said. Jake wiped away her tears, as they flowed down her cheeks, then leaned down, and kissed her, putting as much passion as he could. Berlynn returning everything he gave her with a kiss just as passionate.

"I'm going to be right here at the end of the session. I don't care how long it takes. I'm going to wait for you, just like you waited for me." Berlynn said. They shared one last kiss, before Jake reluctantly climbed on the boat. As the boat drifted away, they watched each other drift apart.

"I love you Berlynn Rayne!" Jake shouted as loud as he could.

"I love you too Jacob Harris!" Berlynn shouted back, as she watched the love of her life drift away into the Bering Sea sunset.

**_Eight Months Later_**

Jake tapped his fingers in anticipation. His stomach tightened, as he took a deep breath to try to calm his nerves. Josh patted his shoulder, and laughed a slightly, "You don't expect her to be waiting for you, do you?"

"I don't know, I guess not." Jake said, fighting back tears. He felt as if his mind was playing games with his heart. His heart was on the edge, feeling anxious, excited, nervous, and broken. While Jake mentally fought with himself, him, and the rest of the crew geared up, and headed on deck to sort crab. Jake didn't bother looking into the crowd of families that had gathered to see their fishermen return home. Jake couldn't handle it knowing that more than likely Berlynn wasn't there. Instead Jake went straight to work, saving himself the heartache.

"Jake, you idiot. What are you doing?" Josh said, with a grin.

"What does it look like I'm doing. And dont call me an idiot, Josh." Jake warned his older brother.

"Then don't act like one."

"Fuck you." Jake said, now fully ignoring Josh.

"Well, aren't you going to look?" Josh asked.

"No."

"You really are a dumb asshole!" Josh laughed.

"What the fuck, dude. Leave me the fuck alone." Jake yelled.

"Alright dude, but if she leaves, because you're ignoring her, dont blame me for it." Josh said, putting his hands up in defense.

"What? Shes here?" Jake asked.

"I've only been trying to tell you that for the last five minutes." Josh said.

Jake stopped working, and jumped up on deck, only to come face to face with Berlynn. "Your here!" Jake, said with tears in his eyes.

"Didn't I tell you I was going to be here when the session was over?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Jake, shut up, and kiss me." Berlynn said. Jake didn't need to be asked twice. He pulled Berlynn towards him, as she jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. They kissed, as everyone cheered for them.

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**_So this is it... or is it lol? Naw, I got one more chapter for everyone before I end this. I want LOTS of reviews before I post the last chapter! _**


	20. Chapter 20 Facing The Past

**_Chapter Twenty_**

**_Facing The Past_**

"Jake, I don't like flying, cant you just tell me where we are going?" Berlynn begged, as they stood in line waiting to board the plane.

"Nope, not until we get on the plane, and we take off. I dont want you trying to escape or anything." Jake told her. Their hands laced together, as Berlynn swing their hands back and forth. Jake had been back from fishing for not even a month, and they were setting out on another adventure, this time together.

"I looooove you babe." Berlynn said in a sweet voice as she smiled, and batted her eyelashes, hoping that would make Jake tell her. She hated surprises, and would do just about anything to find out what it was.

"I love you too!" Jake said, the smile on his face growing, knowing exactly what she wanted, and he refused to give in.

"Babe!" She whined.

"Babe!" Jake mimicked her, which only agitated Berlynn. Jake couldn't help but laugh, as Berlynn crossed her arms, and pouted. Jake pulled her into him, and kissed her forehead.

"I hate you." Berlynn said.

"That sucks for you." Jake said, watching the beautiful woman getting more, and more exasperated.

"Guess someone isn't getting any." Berlynn said in a teasing voice.

This just made Jake laugh, "I wasn't gonna get any on the plane anyway."

"GAH! Fine, whatever!" Berlynn said, totally annoyed that no matter what she said, Jake had a comeback.

"Awe, babe. Dont be mad, I'll have sex with you, as soon as we get off the plane." Jake laughed.

It was now Berlynn's turn to get back at Jake, "Its ok babe. I dont want you to wear yourself out." Berlynn smirked. Jake didn't have a chance to respond, due to the fact it was now their turn to get on the plane. As soon as they were seated, more people piled on. And it wasn't long after that the flight attendant announced their departure to Nova Scotia. Berlynn could feel her heart stop beating. She felt as if the blood rushing through her veins had stopped completely, "Jake... why?" She asked, "I can't do this. I can't go. I need to get off."

"Yes you can, and no you wont. Your gonna go, because you love me, and because they are not going to stop the flight just for you to get off, because you decided you dont want to go. And plus, you need to settle a few things."

"How are you allowed to do this? What makes you think you can do this?" Berlynn almost screamed.

"Because I know the girl I love, and I know someone who needs to tell that they love you."

"I really dont like you right now, and if you think I'm going to see her, then I know you've lost your mind!" Berlynn said, as she turned around in her seat so she couldn't see Jake at all.

"You'll see her." Jake said, as she layed his head back on his chair, and let his eyes drift shut.

Jake grabbed the last of the bags, before turning back to Berlynn, who was standing beside him with her arms folded across her chest. Jake smiled at her, Berlynn rolled her eyes, as she took hold of her bag, and started walking away. Jake laughed, as he watched her, before walking a little faster to catch up with her, which didn't take long for Jake. He wrapped an arm around Berlynns shoulder, pulling her closer to him, then giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Dont worry, everything will be ok." Jake told her, but somehow she just couldn't shake the feelings of regret, and fear away. It hadn't been that long ago that she had tried to kill herself. She never thought in a million years, she would be back in Nova Scotia, let alone with a man who found her letter, and just happened to fall in love with her. Berlynn looked up into Jake's eyes, "I hope so."

A few hours later, Jake, and Berlynn found themselves standing in their small motel room. "So much for five-star living." Berlynn tried to joke, "You would think after all these years, they would have updated these rooms." Berlynn said with a laugh. Jake walked over to the green sheeted bed, and collapsed into it, "Ahhhh... finally a real bed!" Jake sighed in contentment. Berlynn laughed, and shuffled her feet over to where Jake was laying, and collapsed next to him. Jake looked at her, and positioned himself so his head was laying on her stomach. Berlynn smiled, and instinctively put her hand on Jake's head, running her fingers through his short brown hair. It didn't take long for either one of them to fall asleep.

The next morning Berlynn woke up to an empty bed, and soon realized an empty room aswell. Berlynn got up, and walked over to the fridge for something to drink, but when she opened it, there was nothing there. She closed to the door with a sigh, figuring Jake had gone out to get some food, and drinks. Berlynn then decided to go in the shower. Stripping off her clothes, and turning on the hot water, before she got inside.

Jake walked into the small one-roomed motel, and heard the shower running. He walked over to a small round brown table, where two chairs, and a black ashtray sat, and placed the groceries on the table. Jake looked at the food, then back at the shower, and contemplated which he wanted more. After licking his lips, he decided to follow Berlynn into the shower.

Berlynn heard the door to the bathroom open, and jumped, not expecting anyone in, she slowly opened the door, hoping it was Jake. She sighed in relief seeing Jake taking off his shirt. "Woo hoo! Sexy!" Berlynn shouted, making Jake jump a little in surprise. He laughed, and continued to take off his clothes, before joining Berlynn in the shower. He immediately wrapped his arms around her waist, and attacked her neck in kisses. Jake turned her around, and lifted her up. Berlynns back rested against the cold tile, her legs wrapped tightly around Jake's waist, as he thrust inside of her. Berlynn moaned out his name, as he continued his actions, until they both reached their climax.

Two hours later, they were walking up a narrow dirt path. Hand in hand, they both continued to walk, silently up the hill. Jake wasn't sure where she was taking him, but he didn't want to ask questions, he just followed. About fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the top of a hill, Jake smiled, and took in a deep breath. The salty sea air hit his nostrils once again. Berlynn too took a deep breath at the same time, tears stung her eyes, and blurred her vision until they spilled out onto her cheek. She didn't bother to try to wipe them away. The emotion of being back in the same place she tried to take her own life was over whelming for her. Berlynn pulled on Jake's hand, and he followed without question. She led him to a specific rock, which she sat down on. Jake sat down silently next to her, waiting for her to talk.

"This is where I wrote the letter." Berlynn finally managed to say. Jake wrapped his arms around her.

"Do you want to leave?" Jake asked. Berlynn shook her head, "No."

"That day, I was so tired of everything. I felt so unwelcome, and I felt like a problem for my grandparents. I missed my parents so much, that I finally couldn't take it anymore. I knew that night I was going to die, or at least try to."

"Why did you write the letter, asking to be saved, when you knew you wanted to die?" Jake asked.

Berlynn looked him in the eye, "Because I wanted someone to save me, I wanted to be wanted by someone." Jake searched her eyes, looking deep into them, all he could see was a lost, broken girl. He pulled Berlynn close. Jake pressed his lips against Berlynns, putting as much passion, and love as he could into the kiss. He could feel her warm tears against his cheeks, a moment later, he pulled away only to wipe her tears away. Berlynn smiled, and rested her head on Jake's shoulder.

"I'm glad you got my letter." Berlynn said. Jake smiled, "I'm glad I got it too. Are you ready to go see your aunt?"

"No." Berlynn answered honestly, but stood up anyway. Jake took a hold of her hand, and climbed up the steep hill, back to the dirt path. It wasn't long before they were in town. Berlynn smiled as she passed by all the familiar shops, and boutiques she frequented when she lived there. "I cant believe you lived here." Jake said, purposely making a face.

"Shut up!" Berlynn laughed, as she playfully pushed him. Suddenly all the laughter stopped, as they stood outside Scarlett's Cafe. Berlynn gulped, but the lump in her throat was to big, once again she felt her eyes well up with tears, "I dont think I can do this, Jake." Jake squeezed her hand in reassurance. Before they could turn to leave, the cafe door opened, and Liz walked out. Berlynn took a step back, but Jake held her in place. Liz looked up at them, and gasped.

"Berlynn, is that you?" Liz gasped.

"H hi... aunt Liz." Berlynn said, failing at hiding her tears. Liz walked up to her, and wrapped her arms around Berlynn, as she held on as tightly as she could. Liz sobbed for what seemed like hours, before pulling away from her niece. "I thought I lost you." Liz said, "You look so beautiful! I missed you so much!"

"I'm sorry Aunt Liz." Berlynn cried.

"It's ok, I should have been a better aunt. I'm so sorry baby girl." Liz said, stroking Berlynn's cheeks.

They made their way back to Liz's house, where they could sort out their feelings, and talk about the past.

"Jake, how did you find her?" Liz asked.

"Well," Jake said, as he laughed, "I didn't find her. She found me."

Berlynn told her aunt everything that happened, from the night she wrote the letter, and jumped into the sea, up until that point. They shared their emotions, and what they had missed in each others lives, up until that point. And for the first time, Jake, and Berlynn felt like they were where they were supposed to be. With each other, together, and Berlynn was finally reunited with her aunt. Everyone was happy, for Jake, there was only one thing left to do. They were sitting at the dinning room table, having dinner, when Jake got up and walked over to Berlynn. She looked up at him confused.

"The first time I fell in love with you was when I read your letter. I had been through so much, and I felt like I was alone in this world, until then. You changed everything in my life. Looking for you was a journey in itself, then when you were sitting right in front of me at the bar. I didn't know who you were, but deep down somewhere I knew you were Berlynn. After I found out who you were, I promised myself I would do whatever it was to make you fall in love with me, and I would be damned if I let you go." Jake said, as he wiped Berlynn's tears away, for what felt like the millionth time that day. "The only thing that is going to make sure you staying with me," Jake said, as he knelt on one knee, "Is if you marry me?" Berlynn jumped onto Jake, attacking him in kisses, "Yes, I'll marry you!" She finally managed to get out between kisses. Liz cheered, and clapped her hands, before hugging her niece, and her soon to be nephew in law.

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**_Woah! I cant believe this is it! I hope everyone enjoyed this story! It was my first DC fic, though it wasn't the first one I finished. Thank you to all who reviewed it, and to everyone who followed this story! Dont forget to watch for my other DC stories. I have a couple being written right now. Watch for Trouble Maker, which is going to be a mini fic. _**

**_So review this chapter... PLEASE, and let me know your thoughts! Love you all!_**


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